'Where do you get your ideas? Do you dream them? Are they generated in your subconscious?'

I have been asked all these questions over the past 20 years as a writer. To the first, I have no answer to match that of Stephen King, who famously quipped that he acquired them from a certain street address. As to the second, more on that in a minute. For question number three, if they came to me in my subconscious how would I know? I'd have to send Leo in Inception-style to confirm.

But back to the second question. Do I dream my ideas before writing them? In a word--no. To be more expository, let me offer up an example of what I'd be writing if I were to use my somnambular excursions as the basis for fiction...

A few nights ago, I had a dream. It went something like this: I was living in a house that had just gone through some minor remodeling. Nothing major. But I seemed pleased with the results. Then, I went into the back yard.

There was a walrus there. Smallish. Later, I was to be told in this dream that it was a 200 pound walrus. Apparently, and this is just a waking observation here, garden walruses are diminutive. Go figure. Now, despite the size, I found myself quite startled in this dream. I mean, there was a whiskered, tusked walrus staring me down from between a gaggle of bushes beyond my lawn. What did I do?

Of course I consulted my neighbor. A walrus expert. Fortunate coinkidinks like these are common in the dream state, thankfully. My neighbor, who had a nose somewhat off center, as in his nose was planted squarely on his left cheek, informed me quite calmly that I should expect to see walruses in my yard. To which I inquired 'why', ignoring his misplaced nasal appendage.

Because they look for alligators.

Of course! How stupid of me! The well known scientific tenet that pint-size versions of aquatic arctic mammals drag their flippered bulk into suburban neighborhoods to track down armored reptilian quadrupeds! How stupid my schnozz-shifted neighbor must think me!

After learning this, I returned to my back yard to watch the walrus do his thing and flush out the unseen gator that must have drawn him to my humble home. But...the walrus was gone! Like the wind! And I was left to wonder, did he find the gator and do whatever it is that walruses do to them? Or was my back yard just a point in transit as he was on his way to get the gator?

Sadly, whatever came next is lost to me, as the dream faded away.

So, yeah, I think I'll write that.