Paraprosdokians – from the Greek and meaning expectation – are figures of speech in which the second part of the phrase or sentence is unexpected in a way that causes surprise, shock, even anti-climax.

Paraprosdokians are a favourite tool of comedians and satirists who use them to create double meanings and double-entendre that often form a syllepsis – the use of a word or expression to perform two syntactic functions, especially to modify two or more words of which at least one does not agree in number, case, or gender, as in the use of are in Neither he nor we are willing.

Winston Churchill was extremely f0nd of paraprosdokians and I have started the list with Churchill followed by Groucho Marx, the embodiment of paraprosdokians if there ever was one.

Twenty Paraprosdokians

There but for the grace of God goes God. – Winston Churchill
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx
A modest man, who has much to be modest about. – Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee
He was at his best when the going was good. – Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you … but it’s still on my list.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting in a fruit salad.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify… ” I answered ” a doctor.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

If you use paraprosdokians in your own writing it will often bring scenes to life.
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