Here is our sleep solution (see child #1):

1. No sleep after 3 pm.

2. The nanny and/or parents will bathe, feed, and soothe her put her down, drowsy but awake, at 5:30pm.

3. Graduated extinction.

4. Naps. Independent of the wake up time, she is put in her crib drowsy but awake for a morning nap after soothing around 9am. 9am is your goal and if she appears sleepy at 7:30 or 8am, try to stretch her towards 9am the best you can. This pattern is repeated between 12-1pm but if there were no morning nap, you might put her down around 11-11:30am because she appears so tired. Your goal is to stretch her towards 12-1pm. [For child #1, nap rhythms are just emerging, especially the morning nap]

Do not have her in the car or stroller at 10am or 2pm if she did not nap in the morning or mid-day respectively because that would knock her out. It is as important that she not sleep out of synch with her biologically age-appropriate nap rhythms as it is for her to sleep in synch with these rhythms.

5. The improvement will be sequential, not simultaneous. First, you will see an improvement in night sleep. Secondly, the morning nap will become more regular and longer which will thirdly permit a regular and then eventually longer mid-day nap to evolve. This process will take a few weeks. Once it is complete, the bedtime may than be moved later.

You should be optimistic because you both agree that something needs to be done, Crying is just a means to an end, better sleep for the entire family.

There probably will be less overall crying if Dad assumes the role of project manager (puts her down and does the responding/soothing at night), when available, and if Mom leaves the house, as much as possible, when there is anticipated crying. The reason for this is that she knows that Dad cannot breast feed and by smell, when she knows that Mom is not there, she might as well sleep because she is tired anyway. This makes it easier for all three of you: She cries less, Mom does not hear the crying, and Dad is the hero! One scenario in the middle of the night or on week-end for naps is that Mom nurses quickly, passes her to Dad, Mom leaves the house, Dad does some brief soothing and puts her down.