You’re going to have to picture this. Honey and I get into bed last night and after a couple of minutes I say, “Did you leave the pool pump running?”

This is one of those things I’ve asked him not to do at night because every time the vacuum gets hooked up against one of the walls I hear gurgling and immediately wake up thinking something has fallen into the pool.

Something like what, you may ask?

Well, since we’ve lived in this house we’ve had three rabbits, 5 possums if you count the fact that it was the same baby one three different times, a cat, a bird and I don’t even want to talk about the snakes. You know? Now that I think about it. We’ve had more wildlife find their way into our currently screened-in pool then we did for the eight years we lived in a house that had a pool with no screen. That’s weird. But anyways, this is the conversation that follows.

Honey doesn’t move. He’s lying face down next to me with his head turned away as he replied, “Yeah, I left it on.”

I frown at the ceiling. “But you know I don’t like it running during the night.”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “No. That’s your husband who knows that. I’m the other guy.”

There’s me, blink, blink. “Other guy?”

His voice is gravelly so I know he’s close to falling asleep when sighs. “The new boyfriend you’re trying to impress by not nagging him to death to do shit like this for you.”

Imagine my eyes narrow as I look right at you. To death? Can you spell drama queen? But then if he were the boyfriend wouldn’t he be trying to impress me with his sexual prowess?

After I explained all this to him and he didn’t budge or reply, I was curious.

“So if you’re a new boyfriend staying at my house when my husband is away why aren’t we doing the horizontal Mumba right now? Isn’t that why you’re here?

“Nope. I came for the comfortable bed. Unfortunately, I wasn’t told about the magpie that resided in it.”

Aaaand, I hit him with a pillow. When that got his attention and he turned, coming up on an elbow to look down at me, I said, “Having a new boyfriend sucks. I much prefer my husband.”

That’s when he grinned. “It would seem my work here is done.”

I waited until he settled back down with his head on the pillow before I shot that smarmy comment out of the water, “Not yet, Bucko. You still have to go turn off the pool pump.”

Haha! In the end, he didn’t leave the bed at all…but I was okay with that. Really okay, actually.