An Apology, plus Random Star Wars

 Oh, dear, it's been a dog's age since I last posted. My apologies; I've been a bit distracted. I still am, but at least I've got some nonsense to go on here. I was daydreaming while having breakfast the other day, a thought occurred, and I ended up writing it down. It went like this...


LEIA: No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly...

TARKIN: You would prefer another target? A military target? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this, so it'll be the last time. Where is the Rebel base?

LEIA: (softly) Dantooine. (LEIA lowers her head in shame) They're on Dantooine.

TARKIN: There. You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable. (addressing MOTTI) Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready.

LEIA: What?

MOTTI: What?

TARKIN: Fire when ready. You may fire when ready. (MOTTI just looks at him with open disbelief) Blow up the planet, Admiral Motti!

MOTTI: But… I’m sorry, I’m missing something here, I must be. You said you’d blow up Alderaan if Princess Leia here – hello, Princess…

LEIA: Hi.

MOTTI: …if Princess Leia didn’t tell you were the rebel base is.

(TARKIN shrugs in a “So?” sort of way)

MOTTI: Well, she did. She just did. I heard her. She said Dantooine.

TARKIN: Your point being..?

MOTTI: It’s not my point, Governor Tarkin, it’s your point. You said you wouldn’t blow up Alderaan if she told you. She’s told you, and now you’re telling me to blow up Alderaan anyway. I don’t get it.

TARKIN: Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration.

MOTTI: Seriously? It’s a bit of a distance so we’ll blow up an innocent planet instead? There are five lifeless worlds in this system – why don’t we blow one of them up instead? 
TARKIN: It is a demonstration of this station’s power!
MOTTI: That’s still no reason to go blowing Alderaan up. Populated planets, unpopulated planets, they’re all much of a muchness, really. Blowing one up’s pretty much like blowing up the other. So, why don’t we blow up an unpopulated planet so there’s actually somebody to see it… on Alderaan… which we don’t blow up, so they go, “Wow! That was a pretty impressive demonstration of power.” Whereas if we blow up Alderaan, we’re the only ones who are around afterwards to say anything about it. Not much of a demonstration is it, really? That’s more like bragging. 
TARKIN: Are you being insubordinate, Motti? 
MOTTI: No! No. Not at all, I… well, just a little bit. Anyway, look, we checked the main weapon array during commissioning and it performed perfectly. We don’t need to blow up a couple of billion people to prove that. It all just seems a bit… you know… evil.
TARKIN: I grow tired of your prattle. (Turning to DARTH VADER) Vader, I feel it is time that the admiral… retired.
(Pause)
TARKIN: Vader?
VADER: It is a bit harsh, though, isn’t it?
TARKIN: Oh, for gods’ sakes. Not you too? You’re both making me look really bad in front of… (he nods sideways at LEIA, but neither MOTTI or VADER pick up on it) ...the risonerpay.
VADER: The what?
LEIA: The prisoner. 
VADER: Oh. 
MOTTI: Seriously though, governor, is this really the message that we want to be sending out? “We’re the Empire, and we’ll vaporise your planet for no good reason”? It’s terrible PR. 
VADER: Arbitrary. 
MOTTI: Yes! That’s it, that’s it exactly. It’s arbitrary.

TARKIN: (Sincere and emphatic) We are the Empire, and they will fear us.
MOTTI: Exactly, now you’re getting it. And that’s not really the image we want to project, is it? 
VADER: You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
(MOTTI nods his agreement)
TAKIN: Don’t you dare get all homespun with me, Vader. That doesn’t even make sense. 
MOTTI: It means…
TAKIN: I know what it means! (Sees LEIA is smirking) Right. Fine. You know what? I don’t care. Blow up Alderaan. Don’t blow up Alderaan. Blow up empty moons. Blow up Coruscant, if you like. I don’t care.
MOTTI: Oh, don’t be like that…
TAKIN: I don’t bloody care! (MOTTI puts a conciliatory hand on his shoulder but TARKIN shrugs it off) Don’t touch me! (He leaves in a temper)
(There is a silence)
VADER: Well, that was embarrassing.
LEIA: So… are you blowing up Alderaan? Or not?
(MOTTI shakes his head – the destruction of Alderaan is not his main concern. There is another silence)
MOTTI: I wish he wouldn’t just take off like that. 
VADER: Childish. 
MOTTI: It is, a bit.

INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- CENTRAL HOLD AREA.

Ben watches Luke practice the lightsabre with a small "seeker" robot. Ben suddenly turns away and sits down. He falters,
seems almost faint.

LUKE: Are you all right? What's wrong?

BEN: (Considers his feelings, then frowns and shrugs) Nothing. I’m good. 
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Published on July 16, 2011 16:23
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