When we say “infidelity,” what exactly do we mean? Is it a hookup, a love story, paid sex, a chat room, a massage with a happy ending, sexting, watching porn, staying secretly active on dating apps?

There is no universally agreed-upon definition of what even constitutes an infidelity. However the one I use include three elements:

A secretive relationship, which is the core structure of an affair
An emotional connection to one degree or another
A sexual alchemy, alchemy being the key word because the erotic frisson is such that the kiss that you only imagine giving, can be as powerful and as enchanting as hours of actual lovemaking. As Marcel Proust said, it’s our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person.

For the past ten years, I’ve traveled the globe, working extensively with people who have been affected by infidelity. In this video, I discuss one of the most important elements of relationships: trust. Once broken, can trust be regained? I believe that betrayal runs deep, but it can be healed. Watch my thoughts here.

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