Grumpy people
There was a time, not too long ago I was a grumpy person. Others might have called me much worse to my back, but at the time I couldn't have cared less. How my wife has put up with me for over 30 years is amazing, she really is a saint.About a year and a half ago I decided to make some drastic changes in my life, one of which was to move to China for a new job. There were many reasons for the move, not one incident caused such a drastic change, but one I discovered after leaving was how grumpy people can be.
Not that life is perfect overseas, but I discovered something about myself, I probably knew all along, like many people in my circle of influence I complained a lot.There are four noble truths of Buddhism: (Please excuse the use of the four noble truths to prove a point. I am not a follower of the faith, nor trying to convert anyone.)Life is suffering… well that sucks but sounds about right.The origin of suffering is desire… yea, how many people want more than they can afford or… the list goes on really.To stop suffering stop wanting… I can see where this makes sense. Many times, I have wanted things I have no control over, like people to be better people.The path to end wanting is the noble eight-fold path; that is, right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration… this is really asking a lot of a person.This was not meant to be a lecture, but it helps me to understand why I was grumpy all the time. People were not meeting my expectations, and here was the kicker, there was nothing I could do about it. It also seemed I was surrounded by so many miserable people, all grumpy for whatever reasons, but one thing I have found is their grumpiness always seemed to rub off on me.I was in China for almost a year, trust me there are grumpy people in China, they seem to be everywhere, but in my mind, I came back a new person, much less grumpy. Maybe not a better person yet, but I was sure my new armor of calm would help me withstand all the negative energy that swirled around me both in real life and via the interrwebs.Boy was I wrong! Less than two weeks back and I can feel myself falling into old habits, I have started complaining about things I have zero control over. I have found the only solution is to physically separate myself from all the negativity washing over me when possible. To leave the negative people behind when I can, to ignore them when I can’t. It is extremely hard, but for my own mental health that is what I must do.So, lesson of the story, be careful with whom you hang with. They will affect you and your sanity. I truly believe it is better to be alone and happy than with people that will end up making you miserable. Will this work for everyone? Probably not. But if you keep doing the same things you will get the same results. Expecting something different is the definition of insanity.Peace out.
Not that life is perfect overseas, but I discovered something about myself, I probably knew all along, like many people in my circle of influence I complained a lot.There are four noble truths of Buddhism: (Please excuse the use of the four noble truths to prove a point. I am not a follower of the faith, nor trying to convert anyone.)Life is suffering… well that sucks but sounds about right.The origin of suffering is desire… yea, how many people want more than they can afford or… the list goes on really.To stop suffering stop wanting… I can see where this makes sense. Many times, I have wanted things I have no control over, like people to be better people.The path to end wanting is the noble eight-fold path; that is, right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration… this is really asking a lot of a person.This was not meant to be a lecture, but it helps me to understand why I was grumpy all the time. People were not meeting my expectations, and here was the kicker, there was nothing I could do about it. It also seemed I was surrounded by so many miserable people, all grumpy for whatever reasons, but one thing I have found is their grumpiness always seemed to rub off on me.I was in China for almost a year, trust me there are grumpy people in China, they seem to be everywhere, but in my mind, I came back a new person, much less grumpy. Maybe not a better person yet, but I was sure my new armor of calm would help me withstand all the negative energy that swirled around me both in real life and via the interrwebs.Boy was I wrong! Less than two weeks back and I can feel myself falling into old habits, I have started complaining about things I have zero control over. I have found the only solution is to physically separate myself from all the negativity washing over me when possible. To leave the negative people behind when I can, to ignore them when I can’t. It is extremely hard, but for my own mental health that is what I must do.So, lesson of the story, be careful with whom you hang with. They will affect you and your sanity. I truly believe it is better to be alone and happy than with people that will end up making you miserable. Will this work for everyone? Probably not. But if you keep doing the same things you will get the same results. Expecting something different is the definition of insanity.Peace out.
No comments have been added yet.
