(Not naked, your honor…allegedly naked)

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Ever dreamed of visiting Fresno, California? I know…calm down, go to the back of that long, long line, and wait your turn. It’s the holiday choice for countless vacation-seeking families … especially families who love plants, but hate pants.

You know, for someone like me – someone who trolls the papers and the internet in order to write a weekly humor column – America rarely disappoints.

Based on police dispatches filed this last year in Fre...