[image error]

Right now your social media feeds are being filled with new year’s resolutions, sum up’s of 2017, hopes and dreams for the future, and words of wisdom for 2018. This is my own personal reflection of 2017. This post may sound cliche AF, but I lived this, and it’s what I found myself jotting in my journal this morning on the last day of 2017.

2017 was a crazy bitch. She pushed me to the brink mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, she happily shoved me over the cliff into the abyss with an evil cackle. It was exhilarating, crippling, soul-crushing, and empowering. 2017 opened my eyes to so many things- the elusive taste of success, my poor self-esteem, how fear and uncertainty can keep you from living life, the generosity of strangers, and how to listen to your heart.

I quit my corporate job in August 2016. I had 3 months savings to give myself time to write. During that time I published 2 books I wrote at the beginning of the year, a project I called the Crime Lord Series. I published book 1 in September and book 2 in November. My little series made a little hit and I was stunned, ecstatic, and terrified it was a fluke and would flatline at any moment. A year later, I’m still here.

I found my tribe, my girls, my “Captive’s.” I didn’t know there were people out there who would see the beauty in darkness and not only revel in it, but crave more like me. For the first time in my life, I’ve found a group of people who understand the dark parts I can’t share with friends and family. My girls selflessly offer support, encouragement, and love and I couldn’t be more humbled. I’m continually surprised every day when I hear a kind word or someone offers to help me. If you could see me, you’d know I continuously adopt Taylor Swift’s disbelieving expression, the one she wears every time she wins an award. I think my girls understand me more than my own family. I’ve always been the weirdo, the loner, the one all in my head. Now, I’ve found my people and I can’t believe I’m that fucking lucky to talk to people who are as invested in my world and characters as I am. They’ve given the characters more depth and color and I couldn’t be more overjoyed to have people share my obsessions.

Professionally, I’ve done better than I ever have at any job. It’s unbelievable. I was able to take an epic train ride from West to East Coast- Washington to New York. I got to visit places I’ve written about and never seen with my own eyes. All I kept thinking was, “Little writer, big world.”