CRIME BLOTTER
Okay, the local paper has crime incidents every day. Some of them are quite interesting.
A guy ran off the road and down an embankment, then passed out or fell asleep. When he came to, he told officers he was "good" and tried to leave. When asked about the smell of alcohol, the drive said he'd been downtown and had probably been drugged. However, officers saw an open beer beside the driver's seat and a 24 can carton with only four beers left. Hmmm. Looks to me like the drug of choice was alcohol.
Another driver stopped her minivan in the middle of the perimeter highway. When an officer checked to see why it was stopped, he smelled marijuana. The driver denied she had any pot, then said a passenger earlier might have been smoking some. The officer pointed out she had two containers of pot on the front seat in plain sight, but she continued to deny she had any pot. Talk about a state of denial! Is Trump's propensity to lie rubbing off on everyone?
Further proof of Trump influence: a woman's boyfriend called her at work to tell her he was using the toilet and it suddenly overflowed. "Suddenly," huh? She came home to find her toilet...shot! Yep, the bullet fragments on the floor offered concrete proof. Her boyfriend denied he shot it but left before police arrived. Not only a Trump admirer, I bet he's a fervent devotee to the NRA, too!
Another man punched his girlfriend because she didn't like his suggestion of having sex with her and another woman. REALLY? I'm surprised he wasn't the one punched!
And this one deserved, and received, an article all by itself.
The victim was in a bar with her mother and some friends. No, this is not the beginning of a joke. A drunken customer tried to kiss one of the women "in a manner that was every bit unwanted as it was sloppily awkward," went the report. He continued to hang around them though they kept trying to avoid him. They even alerted staff, who did nothing.
In a last ditch effort for their attention, the drunken man climbed to the top of the booth--their table was a good bit lower--and proceeded to do a little dance. Oh, man, I can just see him shaking his bootie now! Quoting the report, "the rowdy inebriate then decided to up the proverbial ante by attempting to do a back flip off of the booth back and onto the table." The victim, sensing disaster--well, yeah!--was attempting to herd the others out of the way when his head crashed into hers and she "started seeing stars immediately and started bleeding." She was taken to the hospital but the unidentified drunk disappeared. What a shock! I'd be for disappearing, too, once I sobered up enough to remember I'd been dancing on the top of a booth!
They ought to have some kind of reward for best crime report writing. The officer responsible for this last one would surely get a prize.
A guy ran off the road and down an embankment, then passed out or fell asleep. When he came to, he told officers he was "good" and tried to leave. When asked about the smell of alcohol, the drive said he'd been downtown and had probably been drugged. However, officers saw an open beer beside the driver's seat and a 24 can carton with only four beers left. Hmmm. Looks to me like the drug of choice was alcohol.
Another driver stopped her minivan in the middle of the perimeter highway. When an officer checked to see why it was stopped, he smelled marijuana. The driver denied she had any pot, then said a passenger earlier might have been smoking some. The officer pointed out she had two containers of pot on the front seat in plain sight, but she continued to deny she had any pot. Talk about a state of denial! Is Trump's propensity to lie rubbing off on everyone?
Further proof of Trump influence: a woman's boyfriend called her at work to tell her he was using the toilet and it suddenly overflowed. "Suddenly," huh? She came home to find her toilet...shot! Yep, the bullet fragments on the floor offered concrete proof. Her boyfriend denied he shot it but left before police arrived. Not only a Trump admirer, I bet he's a fervent devotee to the NRA, too!
Another man punched his girlfriend because she didn't like his suggestion of having sex with her and another woman. REALLY? I'm surprised he wasn't the one punched!
And this one deserved, and received, an article all by itself.
The victim was in a bar with her mother and some friends. No, this is not the beginning of a joke. A drunken customer tried to kiss one of the women "in a manner that was every bit unwanted as it was sloppily awkward," went the report. He continued to hang around them though they kept trying to avoid him. They even alerted staff, who did nothing.
In a last ditch effort for their attention, the drunken man climbed to the top of the booth--their table was a good bit lower--and proceeded to do a little dance. Oh, man, I can just see him shaking his bootie now! Quoting the report, "the rowdy inebriate then decided to up the proverbial ante by attempting to do a back flip off of the booth back and onto the table." The victim, sensing disaster--well, yeah!--was attempting to herd the others out of the way when his head crashed into hers and she "started seeing stars immediately and started bleeding." She was taken to the hospital but the unidentified drunk disappeared. What a shock! I'd be for disappearing, too, once I sobered up enough to remember I'd been dancing on the top of a booth!
They ought to have some kind of reward for best crime report writing. The officer responsible for this last one would surely get a prize.
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