(Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. — John Lennon)

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It was a busy week at life this week, full of tight deadlines, hard decisions, and an unscheduled snake. Unfortunately for you, faithful reader, that means I was unable to dedicate the usual amount of time I set aside for composing a weekly humor column (seven minutes). So here are a bunch of random, disconnected thoughts, loosely culled from this week’s news on Earth.

Yes, most of my thoughts are usually d...