I love the game of Fizzbin.  I haven’t played since college, but…

What is Fizzbin, you ask?  Oh, you poor, uncultured, geek-challenged…  I’d wager (if I were a betting man) that you are deluded enough to think that Jean-Luc Picard was the greatest starship captain ever, which OBVIOUSLY not the case.

Fizzbin is a glorious card game played with a standard set of playing cards.  And the “standard” set of playing cards is ALL that is standard about Fizzbin.  You see, the rules of Fizzbin change constantly, depending on the day of the week or whether it’s day or night or just how gullible you are.

Fizzbin was brilliantly invented, on-the-fly, by Captain James Tiberius Kirk.  Here is one of the craziest and funniest scenes from Star Trek (yes, the ORIGINAL series):

When I was in a sophomore in high school, some brave and clever trekker compiled all the rules of Fizzbin, added a few more to make it more interesting and complete, and published them.  Once I educated my friends about the glories of Fizzbin, we would get together on some Friday nights and play.  (Yes, as a matter of fact, I DID go out on actual dates with real GIRLS.  You know, pretty humans of the feminine persuasion?  I was, after all, a geek—not a nerd.)  I don’t remember all the rules, but I DO remember that in the case of a tie, the winner was determined to the first one who could pin his opponent to the floor…

Here’s a link to the rules as originally published in 1976:  http://nazarenespace.ning.com/profiles/blogs/just-for-fun-how-to-play-fizzbin-only-trekers-will-get-it

If Fizzbin sounds confusing, well obviously, it was meant to be.  After all, it was invented by the greatest starship captain to confuse those who held Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy captive.  And it worked.  Fizzbin saved the day!

Imagine, though, if real life were like Fizzbin.  Imagine if the rules constantly changed, sometimes without our knowledge, and what was right was suddenly wrong…

The ancient Greeks and Romans (and the Norse, as well) believed in gods that were, well, mercurial.  The gods changed their minds.  A lot.  And mere mortals were constantly tossed about by their divine whims.  One could anger the gods without knowing it.  One might anger one god even while gaining the favor of another.  What a way to live!  But then again, the gods were jealous and petty and FLAWED.  In other words, they were modelled after mortal patterns of behavior.  The GODS reflected US.

But the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob does not change.  The great Jehovah does not vary from His eternal course.  He turns not to the right hand nor to the left.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Some practices may change (e.g., going from a three-hour meeting block to a two-hour meeting block on Sundays or changing from home and visiting teaching to ministering or being forbidden to eat pork and shrimp), but eternal truths do not change.

I recently read about a group of “faith leaders” blessing an abortion clinic, saying that the murder of the most defenseless among us is a “godly act.”

Oh, my.

How could we have possibly convinced ourselves that evil is now good and good is now evil?  Because we think we’re smarter than God?  We imagine up unto ourselves a god who changes with the times.  Modern churches seem to morph and twist themselves to suit the prevailing wisdom of man.  “But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.” (Matthew 15:9)  Things that were unconscionable not so long ago are now celebrated and called “godly.”

Sometimes we listen to General Conference and hear the voice of the Lord as spoken through living prophets and apostles… and we are offended.  Why?  Because we have become invested in something we know is wrong.  Because we think our circumstances or that of someone we love must justify our standing in opposition to what the Lord has said time and time again, has been saying for millennia.  We seem to expect that the Lord will someday “figure it out,” that someday the Lord will see things OUR way.  Because we are now more enlightened than the exalted Being who sees the end from the beginning?

I’m currently reading the Book of Job in my personal scripture study.  Job does NOT understand why he has been afflicted.  His friends think it is because Job has sinned.  We have all sinned, yes, but Job maintains his integrity and asserts that he has lived a godly life.  At the end of the book, the Lord rebukes Job’s friends, but the Lord also rebukes JOB.  The eternal Jehovah tells Job that He knows and sees all.  He sees what Job does not and cannot.  And how does Job respond to this rebuke?  Job humbles himself before the Lord.  Job REPENTS.  He submits to the Lord’s will.  Because the Lord is perfect.  The Lord does not change.  He is omniscient.  And after Job humbly submits to the Lord’s will, the Lord blesses Job doubly.

God does not change with the times.  Jesus Christ is smarter than I am.  He knows all.  And I take great comfort in that.

Because, after all, as much fun as a game of Fizzbin can be, I don’t want to live my life that way.