I kind of debated whether to call this a Distractathon! post, or whether to keep going with Distractathon!, really, since things are finally sort of opening back up again. I think this might be the last ‘thon post, since I obviously haven’t been here so much, and I’m not sure we all still need it. What do you guys think?

That doesn’t, of course, mean I won’t still be blogging regularly. But the daily posts, on top of everything else, were starting to be a bit too much for me, unfortunately, just in terms of time management. Which is why I took that break over the last few weeks–I really wanted to get BLOOD WILL TELL out (enormous thanks to all who downloaded it, to those who donated, and just to all of you in general) and I’d not only been neglecting (a bit) the other books/projects I’m working on, but some things around the house, too. One of which is the bed we’re going to talk about in this post.

First, though, let me just say that whether we end Distractathon! now or not, I really can’t thank you all enough for your enthusiasm about it and your presence/company here. This whole thing has, in the last few weeks, really gotten tough for me. I went to my corner Walmart grocery store last Sunday to get flour–I was making Mr. Kane some banana bread and realized when I went to add the flour that I only had one cup left and I needed two–and there was none on the shelves, and I just started to cry. I am a big homebody, normally, and kind of thought the whole quarantine thing wasn’t going to be that big a deal for me because of it, but yeah. I know in my last few posts I mentioned how it was starting to get to me; honestly, that was another reason why I took a break, because it was starting to get a little difficult for me to maintain the optimistic, upbeat tone I wanted to give you guys, and I decided I’d rather take a break than start whining or complaining or whatever else. This is tough for all of us, and I know–I am sure–some of you are having a harder time than I am. The last thing you need is to see someone like me, someone whose job it is to entertain you, complaining about it.

It’s funny (to me, anyway) how it’s the little things that can be the most upsetting. We buck up and deal with quarantine and uncertainty and financial troubles and whatever else, but when all of our dog’s squeaky Kong balls are filthy and falling apart and we can’t just run to PetSmart and get a couple of new ones (either because PetSmart is closed or because we can’t afford it at that moment), we lose it. Or at least I do. We can spend a week cutting and sawing and sanding etc. slabs of wood, banging our legs with 2x4s and getting the occasional splinter and sweating buckets in our non-air-conditioned garage, but when we’re making a chocolate chip cookie cake and go to brush flour off the top of the slowly-moving beater and accidentally trap our thumb for a moment between beater and bowl, thus giving us what is properly referred to as “an Owie,” we burst into tears because it’s just enough already.

Or maybe that’s just me. Point is, I was losing my ability to confidently Distract! you guys, and decided it was better to take a break than subject you to moping and/or just plain boredom. And there were some things I needed to do, like BLOOD WILL TELL and edits on a new project my agent is waiting for and stuff like that.

AND, I had to build a bed.

When we first moved here to TX, our daughters were sharing a bedroom (my dad was in the master, and Mr. Kane and I were in the other bedroom; it’s a three-bed house). Once we finished my dad’s cabin addition, he moved out there, we took the master, and the girls got their own rooms, which I promised they could decorate however they wanted.

When they were sharing a room, they both asked for, and were given, loft beds. It worked out very well, actually; the beds were against opposite walls, and I strung Christmas lights over/along the bed slats to make the space beneath the mattress like a little private den for each of them. They had beanbag chairs under there, and a shelf or two; you know, their own little space to read or hang out or whatever.

When they got their own rooms, they each decided they no longer wanted the loft beds. Well, okay. We did promise they could do whatever they wanted with their rooms, and the loft beds were inexpensive Better Homes & Gardens beds. We weren’t thrilled at the idea of getting rid of the loft beds after only a year and change, but fine. Their mattresses rested on boxes and such while they decided what they wanted, and it was, as I said, fine.

But, as you probably know, beds are expensive. And our girls have somehow developed expensive tastes, too. They wanted fancy storage beds and trundles and such. So I, being both the martyr for punishment and stupidly optimistic lady I am, suggested that I build them beds. That way they could have whatever they wanted, and it would be less expensive, and hey, it’s not like I have anything else to do, right? (Insert sarcastic face and ironic laugh.)

They loved this idea. I did some research online and showed them some websites, and the next thing I knew I was in my neighbor’s truck, being driven to Home Depot to buy the cheapest wood I could find, to start Faerie’s Superbed.

Superbed is based on large part on Ana White’s “Simple Modern Bed,” or at least, the headboard is. Except for two things:

First, Ana White, like pretty much every other woman who does a build-stuff-from-wood blog, makes heavy use of a Kreg Pocket Hole Jig. I too have a Kreg Pocket Hole Jig. More on that in a moment.

Second, to save a few bucks and a little effort, I decided to make the headboard out of 1x4s instead of 2x4s. This turned out to be…well, not a mistake, per se, but maybe not a choice I’d make again. Although it did save like fifteen bucks, I’m not sure the “effort” savings really worked out.

So here’s the thing about pocket holes/the pocket hole jig. In order for it to really work properly, you need to have at the very least the Kreg clamp meant to fit into the jig, or, for best results, the full Pocket Hole Jig set-up, which includes various blocks and bits and pieces and costs about $100. That is not what I have. What I have is the little mini-jig set up, which is basically a piece of plastic with two angled channels in the end (for your drill bit to go through). Well, here, it looks like this:

It’s covered in sawdust. Because that’s the way I roll.

The jig comes with a drill bit meant to fit into the channels, which I seem to have lost, and a drill stop thingy that fits on the bit. But that’s it.

Now, part of the problem here is my stupidity. I did not realize, when I started this project–having never really used the jig before despite owning it for two years (I tried to use it but failed, which, keep reading)–that the point of a pocket hole jig/pocket holes in general, the way they are supposed to work, is that you drill a nice big angled hole in the wood, and then you get a smaller drill bit of the size of your screw (well, a little smaller than your screw) and drill the actual hole for the screw, the hole that will connect the two pieces of wood, from there. The pocket hole is not meant to connect the pieces, it’s only a recess in the wood from which you connect the pieces; the “bottom” of the pocket hole is actually the top of the connecting hole/where the screw goes.

No one explained that to me, and it’s not mentioned in the little instruction booklet that came with the jig. Nor was it clarified in any of the videos I have watched over the last few years regarding woodworking/building furniture/making things with the pocket hole jig. It truly seems embarrassingly obvious now–I’m sure it is, to many people, which is why none of them clarified that point–but I genuinely didn’t know that. So I couldn’t figure out why the Kreg people gave us this big wide drill bit; screws are way narrower than that! Hence my losing the bit. Hence my not being able to figure out how to hold the two pieces of wood I was trying to join together so I could drill through both of them using the jig as a guide. Hence my failures over the last two years trying to use the jig.

So here’s what would happen when I tried to join two pieces of wood using the pocket hole jig: I would insert my bit into one of the channels (that’s what she said), and as soon as I started the drill, the bit and the jig would go skittering across the wood. So I dropped the jig, and started using the bit to just create a diagonal channel through the two pieces of wood (I broke a bit doing this), eyeballing the angle and hoping for the best. When the bit broke, I started just setting the screw at the guessed-upon angle and driving it in at that angle. Experienced woodworkers are laughing at me right now. I know. I humbly accept your derision.

The result of this–especially since, remember, I am using 1x4s instead of 2x4s, so I’m trying to create a diagonal channel through pieces of wood not even an inch thick–is that I ended up with a few places where the screw poked through to the front of the wood, so I had to unscrew it and start over at a different spot, because I didn’t really want my Faerie sleeping or sitting on a bed with sharp things poking out of it. I ended up with a headboard where the back was full of oddly angled screw heads, too. I didn’t take a picture of that, and can’t (for reasons you’ll see as we continue), so you’ll just have to imagine it.

From the front, though, it actually looked okay! Here it is halfway done (the horizontal headboard slats are connected to the left leg of the headboard/bed):

See? You can’t see the mess in the back.

You can’t tell from the picture, but the bottom slat–the one all the way to the right in the image–is an actual 2×4. This is because it’s the one that will be part of the actual bed frame, not just headboard, and my intent was for it to be connected directly to the studs in the wall, for extra extra stability and strength. This…did not work out quite as I intended (suprise surprise), but it did work out.

From there, it was a “simple” matter of connecting the slats to the other leg–at one point I had the idea, which I thought wads quite bright, to drill my angled holes from the end of the board inward, to ensure that they didn’t poke out the front. It was a failure, I’m sorry to say. While a few of the holes worked, I mostly just ended up splintering the ends of the wood–again, 1x4s, not really thick enough for that sort of thing. But still. I did do a better job connecting the slats and leg on that side, and managed to use a few short screws to connect the slats to each other. So all’s well that ends well:

All connected, awaiting the trimming of the top so it’s flat all the way across. I managed that just fine.

Now. Because hallways and doorways in this house are not over forty inches wide (the headboard, with legs, actually ended up being forty-four inches wide), and because there are limits even to my physical strength and those limits prohibit me from carrying an entire solid wood bed frame, that was as much as I could accomplish in the garage. We had to move into Faerie’s bedroom for the next phase.

Which, actually, I think I will post tomorrow, if that’s okay with you guys. I’ve been working on this post for a few hours now, with one thing and another, and I want to get this posted before bedtime. So tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of Stacia Makes a Bed! Despite Not Really Knowing What She’s Doing!

Oh! I almost forgot! Both BLOOD WILL TELL and BLACK DRAGON are now available on Amazon. You can still get them directly from me, of course–BLOOD WILL TELL is a free download here on the site (PDF only, since WordPress wouldn’t let me upload any other type of file, but you can email me if you need a different format, or I know quite a few readers have downloaded the PDF and then used Calibre or some other program to convert it to whatever they need), and honestly, I’ll send you BLACK DRAGON for free, too, if you want. Both books are also enrolled in Kindle Unlimited, so if you’re a Kindle reader and you’re in the program, there you go. I am still working on paperbacks, though the formatting is proving a wee bit challenging for me. I’ll get there, though, I promise.

ETA: Uggh, I forgot to say. I DO still have a couple of critiques to post; I’ve been working on them, just not had as much time as I’d anticipated. But they WILL be posted soon. Sorry, guys.

I hope that you’re all okay. Stay safe, everyone. I love you all.