What's in this Stuff?
The patent medicine story is the story of an industry. A big industry that made a lot of hucksters a lot of money on pure flimflam, much of it highly flammable. Take Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for example. Got a fussy teething baby? A little Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup taken as directed is your answer. That ‘directed’ part is important, at the rate of 65grams of morphine to the ounce. More than a few babies got so soothed, they never fussed again.
How about Dr. Collis Browne’s Chlorodyne? Good for all manner of complaints from coughs and colds to asthma and probably Covid-19 if Dr. Fauci approved. What is Chlorodyne? Laudanum (alcohol infused opium), cannabis tincture and chloroform. Imitators substituted morphine for the laudanum. Feeling run down? Parker’s Tonic should pick you up at 41.6% 83 proof alcohol.
The money was good though. Lydia Pinkham had a brew for female complaints of the cycle. She raked in $300,000 a month in the 1880’s on a mixture of sugar water laced with 18% alcohol. Dr. Kilmer and his brother amassed an estate valued at $10 -15 million on miracle cures for imagined conditions. Dudley J. LeBlanc, State Senator (D) Louisiana, made his fortune curing cancer, epilepsy and serious diseases with Hadacol, a mixture of multivitamins, 12% alcohol and diluted hydrochloric acid. The latter opened the arteries, allowing the booze to work faster.
Patent medicines provided passports to all manner of intoxication in pursuit of curative promises. Take Tilden’s Extract for gout or rheumatism and buzz off on a potent cannabis extract. Join Queen Victoria and Thomas Edison, not to mention a couple of popes in a glass of Vin Mariani as a before bedtime nightcap. Bordeaux wine infused with cocaine should do the trick. Palmerton’s version, French Wine Coca, would one day morph into Coca Cola.
For those poor unfortunates who found themselves addicted to one medicinal narcotic or another, you could kick your habit with Habitina. Addicts were told to replace their addictive drug with sufficient doses of Habitina to “Support the system”. The remedy cost $2.00 a bottle and best of all, it worked. With 16 grains of morphine and 8 grains of heroin per ounce, it should. The only side effect, Habitina addiction.
Next Week: Medicine Cabinet Legacy
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Ride easy,
Paul
How about Dr. Collis Browne’s Chlorodyne? Good for all manner of complaints from coughs and colds to asthma and probably Covid-19 if Dr. Fauci approved. What is Chlorodyne? Laudanum (alcohol infused opium), cannabis tincture and chloroform. Imitators substituted morphine for the laudanum. Feeling run down? Parker’s Tonic should pick you up at 41.6% 83 proof alcohol.
The money was good though. Lydia Pinkham had a brew for female complaints of the cycle. She raked in $300,000 a month in the 1880’s on a mixture of sugar water laced with 18% alcohol. Dr. Kilmer and his brother amassed an estate valued at $10 -15 million on miracle cures for imagined conditions. Dudley J. LeBlanc, State Senator (D) Louisiana, made his fortune curing cancer, epilepsy and serious diseases with Hadacol, a mixture of multivitamins, 12% alcohol and diluted hydrochloric acid. The latter opened the arteries, allowing the booze to work faster.
Patent medicines provided passports to all manner of intoxication in pursuit of curative promises. Take Tilden’s Extract for gout or rheumatism and buzz off on a potent cannabis extract. Join Queen Victoria and Thomas Edison, not to mention a couple of popes in a glass of Vin Mariani as a before bedtime nightcap. Bordeaux wine infused with cocaine should do the trick. Palmerton’s version, French Wine Coca, would one day morph into Coca Cola.
For those poor unfortunates who found themselves addicted to one medicinal narcotic or another, you could kick your habit with Habitina. Addicts were told to replace their addictive drug with sufficient doses of Habitina to “Support the system”. The remedy cost $2.00 a bottle and best of all, it worked. With 16 grains of morphine and 8 grains of heroin per ounce, it should. The only side effect, Habitina addiction.
Next Week: Medicine Cabinet Legacy
Return to Facebook to comment
Ride easy,
Paul
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