The Masks Are Off

One unexpected benefit of the pandemic is how easy it is to see who’s a selfish prick. Previously you could really only guess at that. Sure, you could pick up hints from how they were standing, or whether they were in the process of berating serving staff, but you couldn’t be sure. Now, though, at least in my part of the world, where it has become mandatory to wear a mask while out of the house, you can see with just one glance who doesn’t give a crap about their fellow citizens.


For example, today I passed by a woman who had a mask dangling from her chin while holding a coffee. So I could tell that she cared about me a little, but not more than her coffee. Two people who stood on opposite sides of the path while holding dogs on leads cared to avoid breathing all over each other, but not so much about everyone trying to divert around them. The dude who pounded past with no mask, breathing all over everyone, didn’t give a single shit.


I really like how this is so clear. Obviously the selfishness itself isn’t great. We can do without that. But you can’t fix a problem without identifying it, and for that, this mask business is super helpful.


I’m not saying we could fix a lot of societal problems by rounding these people up and firing them into the sun. That would be silly. Accurate. But silly. Because we’re not going to be allowed to do that. Also, you know, once you get into rounding people up, for whatever reason, that has a bad vibe. We don’t want to start with that.


We have to live with these people—even though, clearly, they don’t care much about living with us. But that’s okay; that’s what we’ve always done. Now it’s just clearer who appreciates the social contract and who doesn’t. Which I feel like has been a growing issue: How when you live in a city instead of a village, most of the social penalties for being a selfish prick fall away. A person can successfully avoid the appropriate consequences for being a selfish prick forever, because their bad reputation doesn’t stick with them. But not so much now, when they wear it on their face.


P.S. Seriously, where does this come from? The thing that perplexes me is how kind and generous kids are. Kids are so naturally selfless and empathetic, you have to stop them giving away their stuff. Are we beating this out of them? Or does something happen in the teenage years? Crazy.


P.P.S. Also obviously there are exceptions. For example, some people believe they are fighting a global conspiracy bent on human enslavement. Are these people selfish pricks? Yes, yes, they are. Because it doesn’t take that much to educate yourself. It’s the Information Age. But they are also super misguided, which is probably more relevant to their motivation than the selfishness.


P.P.P.S. About the runner—I ran 15 kilometers on Sunday in a mask. It was fine. I also gave pedestrians a wide berth because I value their health more than my slight inconvenience.

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Published on August 03, 2020 23:17
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message 1: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Page How kind and generous kids are?

Please go spend a week in any public grade school. Children are tiny sociopathic monsters who are completely oblivious to the consequences or feelings of others. The only thing separating your average fourth grader and Patrick Bateman is muscle strength. Lord of the Flies is unrealistic only because it was too tame.


message 2: by Monsterkodi (new)

Monsterkodi I am a big fan of your books.
But I wonder how someone who wrote a story like 'Company' can live in a society that is equally strange (and wrong) and not recognize it. Very sad. Your rant clearly shows that you didn't educate yourself properly. I recommend to think twice before you insult people like this again.


message 3: by ericka (last edited Aug 07, 2020 07:13PM) (new)

ericka Your PPS especially is everyyyyyyyything: "Because it doesn’t take that much to educate yourself. It’s the Information Age."

Of course, these are people who have also been failed spectacularly by, probably, the public school system, which no longer widely teaches such things as reading comprehension and critical thinking. Funny how often the same sort of idiot (in power and otherwise) who (a.) does not want to wear a mask also (b.) does not want to fund education but (c.) wants schools to open anyway mid-pandemic.

tldr you have to value education for it to occur to you to educate yourself and these people do not.


message 4: by Shawn (new)

Shawn Hey Max,

Couldn’t agree more with you. Thanks for writing what many of us are thinking. Please prepare yourself for the onslaught of replies from the selfish pricks taking offense to your argument. There’s a lot of them out there. Ultimately selfishness and greed will be the downfall of modern Western society.

Living unselfishly as best as I can up here in Canada. Let’s hope by working together, in solidarity, we can get this pandemic under control. New Zealand, Taiwan and Singapore have impressed me with their well, coordinated and smart approaches. It can be done if a society works together!


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