I was at the doctor’s office this morning, holding a token with the number ‘2’ on it and anxiously waiting for the doctor to arrive. As it happens on such jaunts, a spanner is thrown into the works courtesy of a gentleman who comes in looking panicked and asking desperately and hurriedly from the assistant when the doctor is arriving. Along with him was his ageing mother who literally did not want to be there. She even said as much, asking her son just what the point of her being there was. The son just asked her to mind her own beeswax and do as he says.

Neither of them were the patient, not in the medical sense. But they were asking the pair holding the token number ‘1’ to allow him to talk to the doctor for just two minutes. Yes, we are referring to the desi two minutes that are anything but. And the people holding token ‘1’ did not verbally object, thus granting the aforementioned gentleman the license to pounce into the doctor’s cabin as soon as he would arrive. I on the other hand was not easily convinced, but could not do much against token number 1’s muted consent.

And so, the doctor did arrive, and the aforementioned panicky gentleman went inside the cabin – sans mother, who was inconspicuously absent at that exact moment – and surprisingly did take about one-hundred-and-twenty seconds to have his brief conversation, which was enough time for me to quickly watch the trailer for Nicholas Cage’s upcoming Netflix series titled “A History of Swear Words.” Why? Because Nicholas freaking Cage, ladies and gentlemen!

Speaking of gentlemen, the aforementioned panicky one did not seem to get the outcome he was hoping for, and frantically looked around for his mother and asked (instructed) her to speak on his behalf to the doctor again. Because what self-respecting adult man-child hasn’t asked their mother to bail them out of the littlest of things. This coincided exactly at the moment my token was called, so this gentleman affably asked me if he could go in and talk to the doctor.

“No.” I said.

This is another example of what is called a spanner in the works. I realize now why people do it, it's just too much fun!

The gentleman was perturbed. He did not expect this outcome, either. Clearly this was not his day, but full marks for his persistence. Despite my mentioning that I’m running late for work and really need to be attended to immediately – my blood pressure wasn’t getting any calmer in this gentleman’s presence – he still managed to stand in the doorway while I had taken my seat, bringing his mother along as well to act as his intermediary.

And this is when everything started to unfold.
The doctor was frustrated, but calm. It emerged that the aforementioned gentleman had made the mistake of taking a cold shower and riding his bike to work a couple of days ago, causing him to sneeze at his workplace. The employers weren’t taking any chances and sent him home to get himself tested for COVID-19, the result of which would determine his fitness to return to work. I could naturally empathize with the gentleman being sent home from work and thereby incurring a loss in earnings.

But what I could not abide by was what the gentleman was asking from the doctor: a letter to certify him as not contracting COVID-19. In essence, what this gentleman really wanted was a convenient shortcut. And as his first appeals had not moved the doctor, the mother was asked to plead his case before him.

The doctor – in no uncertain terms – refused and told him the only logical course of action was to get a COVID-19 test conducted. Best case scenario: it would be negative.
The gentleman continued undeterred. He didn’t feel like he had COVID-19.
And there I was, wondering just which medical school this aforementioned gentleman had attended.

But what really alarmed me was the level of seriousness the regular public was taking something as deadly as a pandemic that had ravaged countless lives across the globe. Answer: very little. Neither the aforementioned gentleman nor his mother had any face masks on. And that’s just the start. Medical representatives waiting outside the doctor’s office, casually taking a smoke break or inhaling second-hand smoke, also had their masks down even with the absence of a cigarette. The neighboring markets had shoppers huddled in tight queues, with nary a face mask in sight. And the sight of someone actually wearing a mask would raise eyes, as people were wondering what on earth were they wearing masks for.

Because apparently, COVID-19 is gone. The lockdown is over, and was a grotesque violation of civil liberties which made people lose their jobs and hurt their business interests. And it isn’t just Pakistan: even countries such as the United States have seen a fresh spike in the cases being reported courtesy of ignoring the safety protocols.

Not denying those at all, but when someone has to be told to put a mask on for their own safety, you begin forming a picture. People inherently will not comply because “Koi COVID-shovid nahi hai, bas hakoomat ka drama hai.” Same was the case with the aforementioned gentleman. All he needed was a letter because in his mind “mere andaazey se main bilkul theek hoon.”
Of course, I’m certain getting tested for COVID isn’t an easy undertaking, both mentally and fiscally. But isn’t that the peace of mind you should actually be seeking? I’ve personally known two cases in my friends and extended family, and I’m acutely aware of the lengths they went to prevent it spreading to other people. Alhamdulillah, they’re both safe.

But others have not been so lucky. And blatantly disregarding the whole thing as a damned inconvenience isn’t going to help matters at all. If anything, it’s just going to get an already hypertensive English language instructor holding the token number ‘2’ a lot more tense than he needs to be.
Save lives, starting with yours.