Christmas should be a joyous time to remember family and friends and the birth of the Savior. Unfortunately for many, it is a time of depression and sadness for the losses we have experienced over the last year and the years that came before. I know it is true for me.

This year has been particularly difficult with the tension-filled election, lockdowns, the widespread pandemic, natural disasters, and deaths. Honestly, who hasn't been affected? As I keep telling my two autistic, adult sons, "This isn't just about you. Everyone has been affected."

My family has had many setbacks this year other than the ones listed above. Maybe your family has too. So where does that leave us? Resenting Christmas? Denying Christmas? Refusing Christmas? Is that really possible? I don't think so. As the Grinch said, "Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, was singing! Without any presents at all! He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came! Somehow or other, it came just the same!"

I had an experience that really impacted me this year. When I received a statement saying I owed $10,000, I took the letter, crumpled it, and threw it across the room. I refused to deal with it. I was angry, bitter, scared, frustrated, overwhelmed and I just refused to accept that in order to prove I didn’t owe that money, I had to just do the work. I didn’t like the way I felt. I even felt suicidal; like giving up.

But then I realized, all of those emotions were only hurting me. I needed to accept it and just do it. And, you know, it worked!

Another thing I tell my sons when they are struggling is, “Ride the waves.” It was an original Magnum P.I. episode that caused me to make that realization. Tom Selleck is caught out in the ocean and has to tread water for hours, waiting for a rescue. Sharks keep surfacing around him. He keeps calm and rides the waves to stay alive. This advice has helped my family tremendously.

Here are some other suggestions to help us this holiday season:

Acknowledge your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

Reach out to others if you feel lonely or isolated. You might not be able to do it in person, but there are lots of other ways such as: texts, calls, video chats, community websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events.

Volunteer. Volunteering your time can also lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

Be realistic in your planning. Don’t try to outdo yourself on what you think is the perfect holiday. Enjoy yourself instead.

Acceptance. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. By expecting perfection from yourself and everyone around you, you set yourself up for disappointment.

Stick to a budget. As the Grinch found out, it’s not about things. It’s the feeling you have in your heart.

Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed.

Eat healthy meals. Eating too much or too many sweets can make you feel ill and depressed.

Get plenty of sleep. Getting your rest will help with mood on a large scale.

Take a breather. Make some time for yourself for an activity you enjoy or to find some inner calm.

Seek professional help if you need it. There is nothing to be ashamed of in admitting you are human and need a little extra help. Here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.

So, take a few deep breaths and ride the waves this holiday season. Know that you are not alone.

Happy Holidays,

Cindy

Cindy A. Christiansen
Sweet (clean) Romance Author