By H.H. Rune

(This list does not include job, family, or faith related shoulds.)

We are bombarded constantly with new data or ideas that might better our health, happiness or overall life experience. Today, by 8 A.M. as I took a warm shower, (contrary to the current societal recommendation,) I had already thought about many of the other things I am supposed to do today and everyday, to be my best self. This list is my own comprehensive list compiled in my brain over at least ten years of deluge of social media and articles and books that I have exposed myself to. Hopefully with this dump, I will let go of the urgency and self- criticism of not doing everything on the list on the daily. Maybe, in reading this list you will feel that you are not alone with being filled to the brim with the extra and excessive expectations we put on ourselves with every decision we make in our already busy days. I hereby give myself grace and let go. I will do what I can and feel like doing on any given day, and celebrate the freedom of not having to do it all. 

Drink a full glass of water upon waking. Don’t eat until noon. To support the adrenals, eat within an hour of waking. Eat protein. Eat fat. Eat fiber. Count carbs. Don’t count carbs. Eat protein but don’t get too muscular. Avoid gluten and dairy and anything inflammatory. Don’t ingest red dye number-whatever. No high fructose corn syrup either. Don’t eat tomatoes as they have lectins which make you fat. Don’t eat peanuts for the same reason. For thyroid challenged people- no cruciferous vegetables, so no cauliflower pizzas, or cauliflower rice either. Eat Kale, don’t. Eat foods that are in season. Locally grown, organic only. No processed foods. Don’t eat fried food. Don’t eat regular potatoes, only sweet potatoes or yams. Eat things on the outside edges of the grocery store. Count your calories, keep a log. Use an app to track what you eat. Only eat pasture raised eggs. Eat a Mediterranean diet. Eat paleo. Be a vegetarian. Be a vegan. Be a raw vegan. Drink red wine. Don’t drink alcohol. Eat a caloric deficit. Don’t. No artificial sweeteners, but no natural sweeteners either. Have a cup of coffee so you poop regularly. Don’t drink coffee. Don’t use real cream or milk. Use plant based cream, or milk but not soy. Don’t overtax the almond industry. Almond based milk, flour and butter will leave no almonds on the planet. Worry about almonds. Worry about the planet. Drink green tea. But not after noon or it will make it hard to sleep. Avoid caffeine. Avoid sugar. Dark chocolate is ok if organically grown, dark above 80% and ethically sourced, but make sure there is no lead in it. Don’t eat chocolate after noon or it will wreck your sleep. Don’t microwave your food. Drink half your body weight in water everyday in ounces. At least eight cups a day. No tap. Filtered at least. Or mineral water sourced direct from a stream in untouched Scandinavia. Sparkling water in a pinch. Use Himalayan sea salt on everything. Watch your salt intake. Dry brush your body then use a fascia blaster on your cellulite.Make sure to work out. Everyday. At least three days a week. At least twenty minutes. Do strength training. Do yoga, but not certain poses when you are on your period. Don’t worry about extra weight. Stress a lot about it.  Love your body. Don’t bother over the shape of it. Do. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s the little things that count. Get a mammogram, it’s probably that time again. Shower in ice cold water. Don’t wash your hair every day. Put body oil on your skin to help your skin stay soft. Take your vitamins. Yes, every one of them.Take a probiotic, take a prebiotic. Every single day. Pee after sex. Wipe front to back. Do face yoga or gua sha to keep wrinkles away. Check for chin hairs every day. Take a walk. Put your feet on the earth. No, not there, that’s where the dog goes. Hug a tree. Meditate. Meditate longer. Don’t think of things while you meditate. Don’t let your mind wander while meditating. Journal. Work your pelvic floor, but not kegels, that will make it worse. (That is the old way of thinking.) Get eight hours of sleep. Have an app to track your sleep and how many times you fart in your sleep. Wake up early. No cell phones two hours before bed. Don’t talk with your head close to your cell phone. No phones in the bedroom, even to charge. No screens an hour before bed. Read. Listen to self help podcasts and books. Stay off your phone. Place your bed head to the east. Don’t have your bed in front of a window. Don’t have a fan blow on your face as you sleep. Don’t sleep on your boobs, they will flatten even more. Don’t sleep on your face, you will wrinkle more. Be in tune to your natural circadian rhythm. Buy crystals to help you get through things in life. Cleanse your crystals when you buy them and once a month. Re-energize them at the full moon each month, but cleanse them first. It’s best if someone else cleanses your crystals. Maybe use whiskey to wash them. Sprinkle cinnamon at your doorway. Don’t have a cluttered entryway. Be a minimalist. Treasure family artifacts. Recycle your bottles, pray they are actually recycled. Go thrifting. Sit up straight. Buy a necklace that comes with an app to make sure you are standing up straight. Buy a standing desk. Buy a treadmill to walk on while standing at your standing desk. Try not to send Jeff Bezos any more money. Even the smile site that gives to charities is helping him with a tax write off. Buy local. Make things. Journal. Every day. Write your dreams. Make a vision board. Dance. Be you with no apologies. Act your age. Don’t. Get your eyes checked. Listen. Check in on your friends. But only the ones that are vibing at your same vibration. You can’t save everybody. Protect your aura. Prioritize self care. Keep a positive attitude. Always. Under all conditions. No feeling sorry for yourself. No excuses. Have a side hustle. Hustle, hustle, hustle. Check your emails. But not in the first or power hour of planning your day.  Don’t send long emails. Don’t write back right away. Don’t text back when you’re upset. Don’t do too much. Don’t give too much of yourself, getting down to nothing left in your tank. Don’t try to be anyone you aren’t or don’t want to be. Relax. Take it easy. Everything will be ok. Be still. Be patient. Be you. Even if you didn’t do all or any of these things today, Congratulations! You are a Human-Doing–the-very-best-you-can, now give yourself a damn break. 

You are enough. 

HH