Years ago, when I was much younger, I participated in group therapy at a critical moment of my life. Recently, while cleaning out a file cabinet, I found some notes I made during that time.

Here are some of the important lessons I learned. Maybe these might help you too.

“Life is a vale of tears.”Insight is the beginning of change.If something isn’t working, do it differently. Practice ways to change.Everyone can change. They may choose to change, or they may not.You won’t cease being yourself if you do it differently.Most people fear change because they fear loss.You cannot make another person feel anything. You cannot change another person, only yourself.You are the cause of your own personal happiness.All you have is what is going on now: the present. Live in the present.Everything is a trap. Making a choice means you don’t get it all.We don’t appreciate or celebrate what we gain. There’s both gain and loss in every situation. Nothing is “either” / “or.” It’s both.Anger turned inside is depression.You get depressed at the advent of some major change in your life. You are anticipating loss and sadness.We orchestrate our lives either consciously or unconsciously.Don’t give the control of your life over to another.Major things in life happen by chance. Learn to create your own happenstance.Choose to become imperfect, not a victim.A person creates his own outlook on life. Situations can vary because of how you view the situation.The more you are autonomous, the closer you can get to other people.We fear losing our identity.If you are mature, you can distinguish between how you think and how you feel.Adulthood is the ability to live with your own aloneness.