A few weeks ago I wrote an article about the 2024 Orioles breaking the all-time record for fewest double plays hit into. I wrote: “Regression to the mean spares no one, and the 2025 Orioles will likely hit into more double plays than they did in 2024.” Boy, was I right. Thirteen games into the season, the Orioles have hit into 16 double plays, the most in the majors and more than double their pace of last year. Sorry, Orioles! I think I cursed you. I mean you see a a play like this one, where Bobby Witt Jr. makes a nutso catch on a Hjeston Kerstad line drive to double off a flabbergasted Tyler O’Neill at second base, and you think — that doesn’t just happen.

They really do seem hex-struck. I was skeptical of the “sign eight or nine #4 starters approach” but figured it would at least allow them to absorb injuries without skipping a beat. But now? The starting rotation you could make from our injured list — Zach Eflin, Grayson Rodriguez, Kyle Bradish, Albert Suárez, and Tyler Wells — is a lot better than the five guys we have available. In fact, I’d say it’s a better than average MLB starting five. We have broken an entire rotation! And this isn’t even counting Trevor Rogers, Chayce McDermott, and Kyle Gibson, all also on the roster and too sore to take the mound.

If the Orioles need me to stand at home plate and enact some kind of cleansing ceremony, I am ready and able.