Since I live in the middle of suburbia / city, it makes sense that I have a mini herd of deer in my fenced backyard obstinately eating my impatiens. I also have a visiting skunk named Chameleon and a gang of coyotes that howl at night as if they own the place. I am waiting to see if a mountain lion streaks past my petunias so he can have deer for dinner.

The flower-eating crime was committed in broad daylight, right after Innocent Husband mowed the lawn. The deer were not afraid of Innocent Husband and the cats did nothing but laze and roll about. Rumor has it they didn’t even meow in protest.

To clarify: The cats didn’t meow at the deer. Innocent Husband didn’t meow at the deer, either, which would have been a sight to be seen. Innocent Husband doesn’t meow unless he is talking to the cats. It is an odd, frightening-sounding meow when it happens, like a violin screeching, or perhaps a cavewoman shouting, but the cats take it in stride and know that Innocent Husband is simply trying to be friendly.

I’m writing my latest book outside tomorrow so I can keep an eye on my impatiens and encourage the cats to protect the property in a more effective manner.