I’ve been away, as I’ve been busy having my soul refracted into divergent hellscapes by the antique Holocron we got from Amazon while we were trying to replace our air conditioner filter. (You know how it goes.)

So I decided to give you a little Sith wisdom to brighten your day while you wait for my next novel.

(Do I have to write another novel?)

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The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. But, like, what isn’t?

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Palpatine attempted to win a major combat with battle meditation—essentially controlling and enhancing the abilities of an entire gigantic fleet during a life-and-death struggle—while controlling the two most powerful Jedi he could find.

Lack most of us, his problem was a lack of ambition.

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Duct tape is like the Force: it has a light side and a dark side and is used to arbitrarily Macgyver plots hither, thither, and yon throughout the entire Galaxy.

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Step 1: Use the Dark Side of the Force to become a God and destroy all your rivals.

Step 2: By the Rule of 2, you will then be essentially unable to help destroying yourself.

Step 3: This always happens. If you’ve done enough research to gain this kind of power, you’ve done enough research to know this. Why are you doing this to yourself?

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