Here is our sleep solution.

1. Starting Friday night, April 8, temporarily, lights off at 5:30PM. Mom can nurse her to sleep Friday night but at 5:30 PM, mom leaves the room whether she is awake, drowsy or asleep. If she cries then or later, we let her cry. Do what you normally do for soothing but at 5:30PM mom is walking out of the room. We are putting her to sleep before she gets a second wind. Anytime after 9:30PM, if you think she is hungry, dad goes in to offer a bottle but does no soothing. You are prepared to feed her once and only once overnight. If she cries anytime between 5:30PM and about 6AM, she is ignored completely. Your expectation is that there will be multiple bouts of crying on the 1st night in the 45-55 minute range and on the 2nd night it might be a little longer or a little less. By the 3rd night it should be in the 20-40 minute range and by the 4th-5th night, no crying. Crying is a means to an end: better quality night sleep. Go to bed earlier yourselves on these 5 nights. Commit to 5 nights and remember absolutely zero attention. If you have reservations about doing this, read the relevant posts on weissbluthmethod.wordpress.com. Crying is hard but sleeplessness is harder! Be discrete in talking about this to your friends because you do not want to elicit negative comments to undercut your confidence that we are helping her sleep better.

2. Saturday.

Do not go to her until about 6AM. If she is asleep at 6AM, do not wake her. But at 7AM, if she is asleep, wake her. Our goal is to keep her up until about 9AM even if she had been up before 6AM. 9AM is our goal and if you feel she is totally exhausted before 9AM, put her down before 9AM. Our goal is that she is put down in her crib drowsy but awake to begin to learn self-soothing skills but if she falls asleep during soothing, put her down in her crib anyway. Try to shorten the duration of soothing so that she is drowsy but awake when you put her down. Our goal is that dad puts her down and mom leaves the house for naps this week-end. She will learn self-soothing faster and cry less if dad puts her down and mom is gone. Make sure that her room is pitch black. Use black plastic leaf bags and paper tape if needed to make the room pitch black. Use a white noise machine if street noises intrude. If she cries when she is put down, she is left alone for one hour. For one hour, she is ignored with the hope she will fall asleep.

This entire process is exactly repeated between 12-1PM. If she does not nap or briefly naps, than think of 12-1PM as a goal not a rigid rule and she might go down at 11AM. But going forward, our goal is 12-1PM. Remember, when she naps is more important than how long she naps.

We do not let her nap at any other times. No car or stroller rides which would knock her out.

Saturday night. Mom can nurse, pass her, pass her to dad and leave the house. Dad does brief soothing and attempts to put her down drowsy but awake at 5:30PM.

3. Sunday and Sunday night the process is repeated.

Monday, mom will be putting her down for her naps and can nurse before the naps and night sleep but try to shorten the duration of nursing so that she is drowsy but awake when she is put in her crib for the naps and night sleep. Otherwise, everything else is the same.

The 5:30 PM bedtime will drive everything to a quick solution and it is temporary. Dad will not see her at night during this training period so it is essential that dad (and mom) go to sleep earlier so that dad can have morning time with his daughter. Bathing, playing, dressing, and feeding in the morning with dad will be fun in the morning. As naps emerge and lengthen, the bedtime most likely will be later but this might take several days or a couple of weeks.

Please read all of this twice because you are both a little sleep deprived. In general, if you are 80% consistent, then you are perfect parents because we are not robots. But for the next 5 days, try to be 100% consistent.