So, it's a new year and this year I've decided to import a Canadian Squatchie. I really think I could use one around the house. They are tall. I have high ceilings. They are strong. I have groceries. Some of them like to cook. I like to eat.

However, importing a sasquatch is actually a very complicated process. Once a sasquatch has gone through the proper quarantine and given his clearance papers, there is only a 90 day trial period before the sasquatch must be officially declared as claimed....