Day 44: 8:00 a.m.
I had a dream. I was knitting and the thing was, I had time to knit. Which was nice. In the dream I felt like I was an old woman, with fewer obligations and so finally, finally, had time to put towards more creative pursuits.
The thing is, in top side life, I never have time to knit. I knitted when I was married to a guy who was so bad for me I need charts and graphs to map out all the ways. I used to be an anxiety knitter when I was with that guy and no one was the wiser until he was finally out of my life and I stopped knitting.
Now I do other things with my time. Knitting is not one of those things.
So, it's a dream and I decide I'm going to knit. I sit down on the sidewalk and go to work on a project that I've been wanting to finish. The Vogue Wave Shawl. Dark gray alpaca, circular needles made from cedar and lots of time.
It's a warm, sunny day.
As I sit there, on the sidewalk, I focus only on my knitting.
People walk towards me and away and pretty soon, someone stops. It's a woman. She leans down and peers into my face. She seems concerned.
"Are you homeless?" she asks.
"No, I'm knitting," I say.
She is perplexed. "Do you need any help?"
"No," I say. "I just want to knit."
She stands up and walks away.
Knit, knit, purl, purl and another person stops. A man.
"Are you okay? Do you need help?"
I shake my head. "No, I'm knitting. I just sat down to knit."
He was as perplexed as the woman.
"You don't need a little help?"
"No. I'm fine."
I woke up and thought about the dream for a long time. I will take this one to my dream expert but it was so odd. By just stopping to knit, by sitting down on the sidewalk, all of a sudden, I was a person to focus attention upon. I became a problem to solve, at least in my own psychic terrain. Curious. The dream seems to be showing me the way I've been coping in my life. Look busy, look like you know what you are doing, do NOT stand out, and hell--DO NOT sit on the sidewalk and just knit. That would be a problem. That would be a serious problem to fix.
The thing is, in top side life, I never have time to knit. I knitted when I was married to a guy who was so bad for me I need charts and graphs to map out all the ways. I used to be an anxiety knitter when I was with that guy and no one was the wiser until he was finally out of my life and I stopped knitting.Now I do other things with my time. Knitting is not one of those things.
So, it's a dream and I decide I'm going to knit. I sit down on the sidewalk and go to work on a project that I've been wanting to finish. The Vogue Wave Shawl. Dark gray alpaca, circular needles made from cedar and lots of time.
It's a warm, sunny day.
As I sit there, on the sidewalk, I focus only on my knitting.
People walk towards me and away and pretty soon, someone stops. It's a woman. She leans down and peers into my face. She seems concerned.
"Are you homeless?" she asks.
"No, I'm knitting," I say.
She is perplexed. "Do you need any help?"
"No," I say. "I just want to knit."
She stands up and walks away.
Knit, knit, purl, purl and another person stops. A man.
"Are you okay? Do you need help?"
I shake my head. "No, I'm knitting. I just sat down to knit."
He was as perplexed as the woman.
"You don't need a little help?"
"No. I'm fine."
I woke up and thought about the dream for a long time. I will take this one to my dream expert but it was so odd. By just stopping to knit, by sitting down on the sidewalk, all of a sudden, I was a person to focus attention upon. I became a problem to solve, at least in my own psychic terrain. Curious. The dream seems to be showing me the way I've been coping in my life. Look busy, look like you know what you are doing, do NOT stand out, and hell--DO NOT sit on the sidewalk and just knit. That would be a problem. That would be a serious problem to fix.
No comments have been added yet.
