Photo by Marcelo Henrique Zacarelli via Creative Commons

Eons ago I was a musician in a world where Starbucks, the iPhone and Gangnam Style did not exist. This was a time when people purchased vinyl records from such esteemed establishments as Wallichs Music City. Like other musicians I formed a band in high school that focused on Top 40, which was the de facto catalog for most musicians I knew. This is not to say we didn’t pay attention to hard rock. We just didn’t play it. I can recall listening to Iron Butterfly’s “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” the Chambers Brothers’ “Time Has Come Today” and pretty much everything Jimi Hendrix ever released. Good times.

“The Sidewinder”

One day my father brought home a jazz single that sent me into orbit. It was Lee Morgan’s “The Sidewinder.” For me nothing was ever the same after that. I found an FM jazz station here in LA (KBCA) and became an instant fan of Jim Gosa and the legendary Chuck Niles (who later moved to KKJZ where he continued his stellar career until his death in 2004).

In college I formed another band—this time playing jazz piano—and am embarrassed to admit that I was epically horrible. My undying love of the musical form was eclipsed by my irritating lack of chops. That band didn’t last long but I did learn a lot from the generous musicians I played with, including a young tenor player from the Bay Area named David Murray.

Which brings me to now. As a writer I pay a lot of attention to structure in movies and television, observing that major characters all have theme songs—or at least musical cues. In the case of ‘Seinfeld,’ the distinctive bass guitar-and-synthesizer theme represents more the entire ensemble in my opinion. Whereas the ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ theme (Luciano Michelini’s “Frolic”) is all Larry David—again, my opinion. Of course, the best kind of theme is one that precedes you—think “Theme from ‘Jaws.’”

So I ask you: For the love of all that is bright and beautiful, why can’t the rest of us have a theme song?

I Want My Theme Song!

Think about it this way. If you saw yourself walking down the street in broad daylight, what theme song would they be playing (you know, that invisible orchestra from all those great movie musicals)? Okay, mine is Dizzy Gillespie’s “A Night in Tunisia.” I am particularly fond of the Jack Sheldon recording found on his Listen Up CD. (Lee Morgan’s “The Gigolo” was a close second but I was too frightened to delve into the psychology of that title.) So why this theme song for me? I’ve never even been to Tunisia and would have a hard time pointing it out on a map. The simple truth is, I don’t know—it just screams ME to me.

Okay, here’s one of the great things about good fiction. Characters don’t necessarily know everything about themselves even though they think they do. When you read a novel or a short story—or watch a movie, for that matter—certain truths about characters are often revealed by those around them much to the character’s own amazement. And this holds true for us too. Take that pivotal picnic scene in ‘Emma’ where Emma embarrasses Miss Bates in front of everyone by telling her what a boring chatterbox she is. This was a real revelation to that poor spinster and the remark devastated her. The scene is also important for what it reveals about Emma by the way.

So I don’t know why “A Night in Tunisia” works but I do know that it resonates with me, taking me to wonderfully magical places without unicorns every time I hear it. My wife Corinne once told me that she actually has two theme songs. Depending on her mood she alternates between the “Theme from Star Trek” (the warbly soprano version, mind you) and “Maiden Wine,” which was sung by Spock in the ‘Plato’s Stepchildren’ episode from the original show’s third season.

Try it yourself. Or better yet, try it with some friends. Ask them to guess your theme song based on what they know or think about you. I wouldn’t be too worried about what they come up with—unless of course it’s “Now That We’re Men” from ‘The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.’ And now check out Dizzy…

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