(Is this, like, gonna be on the test and stuff?)

Okay. Just before I started running for the exit, here’s what the gothic-eyed little mall rat said to her equally doom-daubed friend: “I’m, like, so totally un-into it and stuff.”

And then, suddenly, without warning, her orbiting mascara cloud hit critical mass and achieved self-consciousness. The mascara-based life form immediately pulled out a smart phone and started texting.

Unfortunately, due to my being busy running away, I never did find out...