Rita and I went to Appleby's yesterday for dinner. We were unbelievably thirsty and asked for water after water. Each glass came with a little plastic black sword. With two swords, we sparred. With three, I stuck one into a lemon.

And with four?

It was time to use the little slip of paper the straws came from to tie the swords to the salt and pepper shakers and turn them into pirates.

After staging several battles (including one where Rita snagged some pepper from the table beside ours and I poured