(If I’d been born a panther, there’d be a lot more pigs)

I have a question. If a single guy was an overnight guest at a friend’s house, and the next morning he tried really hard to be quiet, would he still sound like a tree fell down in the forest?

I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it’s some kind of cosmic-level Loki-like joke, but either way, it’s true: you never realize just how noisy you are till you try not to be noisy.

And this past weekend, I discovered that truth yet again.

Over the last...