So there Honey and I were late yesterday afternoon relaxing in the family room. Yeah, sometimes we just sit side-by-side in the leather recliners and talk instead of working or watching TV. Crazy, huh? Anyways, being that it felt like a Friday with the holiday and all, we kicked back and chatted. About what you may ask?
We started with future house projects and then moved onto work, family, politics, religion and sex.
Koala Bears.
Are you blinking? Shaking your head? Or wondering if I mistyped something?
Well, unfortunately folks, I didn’t. I said Koala Bears. Here’s the setup with the ensuing conversation.
We both have our feet up. I’m drinking a glass of wine and he’s got a beer. As I explained we’d already redesigned the house, touched on work subjects, family and politics, so it was onto religion, naturally. Keep in mind that we don’t necessarily look at one another while we’re talking as we’re both staring straight ahead mostly as we are almost shoulder to shoulder.
So after a quiet pause I think of something interesting to tell him. “Oh, remember I told you that the new pope, Pope Francis, came right out and said that atheists weren’t going to hell?”
He takes a pull of his beer and then says, “Sure.”
“Well it seems that he may have said it, but his spokesperson has a different opinion.”
“The Pope has a spokesperson?”
“Yep, well he’s a Vatican spokesperson so it’s basically the same thing I’m thinking. Anyways, his name is Thomas Rosica and he says that all salvation comes from Christ, the head, of which the church is his body and I’m paraphrasing here, so how can you expect salvation if you don’t believe?”
Honey thinks about that for a minute and then sighs, “I’m thinking a true atheist wouldn’t give a rat’s ass one way or another.”
I nodded because I was thinking the same thing. Then it’s quiet for a beat. Long enough for me to think I should get up and start making dinner when Honey puts his hand over mine and squeezes it. I turn my head against the headrest and look at him. That’s when I notice his eyes are dark and sparkly so I’m paying attention. Sure that whatever he has to say is going to be awesome.
“Did you know,” he said, rubbing his thumb over my hand, “that a male koala bear has a forked penis and after he mates with his female he secretes this stuff that seals her up, so another male can’t mate with her?”
For once I was too stunned to even blink!!!! WTH? I burst out laughing and he totally ignored me as he went on to tell me about how the female koala has two vaginas and the male has a mating call and their offspring is called a Joey and…and…and that’s when I knew he’d been watching too much of the discovery channel. *shakes head*
You might be wondering why I found the need to post this today. I mean how can his fun factoids about the koala bear have anything to do with our celebrating the 4th of July this afternoon with friends? Welp, I shall tell you. While he’s out fishing with the boys this morning, I snuck out to the store and bought some Foster’s ale and shrimp to go on the barbie. I figure I may as well join him as I KNOW he’s going to pull out these little bizarre tidbits to entertain our friends. Just call me Sheila.
Happy 4th of July!!!!
Riley