Why I did this

So, one of the readers I've given an arc to has been kind enough to be having a conversation with me via email.

She just asked why I became a writer and I started to write her back, but it ended up being a huge reply, and one I thought I might share with everyone.

So here it is, a piece of myself..

I hated reading and writing all throughout my younger years, especially high school, when it was really forced on me. I actually didn't take up reading until last year (!!) when the 50 shades series came out. I had my second baby in July and took up reading as something to do on my phone while nursing in the middle of the night. After 50 shades, I think I read the thoughtless series, and then the Slammed series. After reading them, I just couldn't stop for some reason. It became almost like an obsession.

So, nearly a year later, I was reading these stories, that just captivated me. And I had this story in my head for weeks. it wouldn't go away. I would dream about it, and silly things, like driving in the car, scenes would play out in my head, and I'd be driving my kids home from playgroup and just keep circling the block because I didn't want the thoughts and ideas to leave my head.

So, one night, after the kids (Just turned 3 and 1) went down for the night, I did a little housework, and locked myself in the bedroom while my other half caught up on 'Game of Thrones'. I secretly started to tell this story to my Macbook.
Honestly, I couldn't even tell you how long I stayed up the first night. I think I wrote out the first 5 chapters and then did a summery of the chapters that followed.
I wrote the chapters and uploaded them to 'Fictionpress'. A free site where you can post your stories. The site allows you to see how many unique visitors look at each chapter, each day.
I could tell people were reading it, but no one left any feedback. I had a couple likes and follows but not really any actual feedback.
So, that's when I turned to the Goodreads community, and boy, has it changed my world.
I honestly didn't even think that it would get the response it has gotten. I thought that some people may like the story, rate it a 3 maybe, and that was it.
I'm the least eloquent person I've ever met. Honestly, I struggle to order at the McDonalds drive through. If you read my book you'll notice my writing style is very straight to the point. I, personally, like easy reads. Nothing with fancy words that make me use the dictionary feature on the kindle, and nothing that makes me think twice, or reread certain lines.

I really have three things that I think help with my writing.
1. I can close my eyes and play out an entire scene in my head and write it.
2. I'm an emotional person. I cry during almost every movie I've ever watched. My Girl, gets me every time - I mean seriously, the kids allergic to bees and he dies getting her mood ring, COME ON! This video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTzTt1... - makes me cry EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
3. I know what I love in a book boyfriend. And I, myself, are truly, madly, deeply in love.
I write what I know, and I think that helps.

I 'm still unsure about my work and no one else knows I've written the book, no other friends, no other family. I don't know if it's because I'm embarrassed about it, or if I'm just scared to be judged by someone I actually know.

I still can't wrap my head around being called "a writer" or an "author", and I sure as shit can't believe that I have a book on Amazon and that it's actually selling!

I can tell you now, that I NEVER. EVER. EVER. thought that writing would be something I would be into, let alone enjoy. But if there's just one other person out there that likes what I have to say, then it doesn't matter whether this is something I can do as a source of income, or as a career. Or if this is my only book, or I write 20 more. It means that my words, my thoughts, my idea, has reached out to at least one other person. And that has to mean something. To me anyway.

So, if you're asking the question, because you think you want to write something, a story, a poem, a novel. Then DO IT. Because you just never know...
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Published on July 12, 2013 06:52
Comments Showing 1-5 of 5 (5 new)    post a comment »
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message 1: by Nila (new)

Nila I for one am glad you wrote it! I found it by accident on Goodreads and I see a lot of people looking for "Rockstar" romance books so you found a niche. I wonder how many people you will help by putting yourself out there, seeing you do will help others. That is what life is about helping others. Keep writing Jay!


message 2: by Jay (new)

Jay McLean Thanks for your kind words Nila. I feel like I'm need to slap myself in the face just to make sure that this is real. I'm still shocked by the ratings and reviews I'm getting.


message 3: by Niña Kristine (new)

Niña Kristine Just finished reading "More Than This", Jake (Fucking) Andrews is my new BOOK BOYFRIEND!!! Congrats on your first masterpiece! Knowing how you started writing your first novel inspired me as a reader & as a frustrated writer as well. I'm excited to for your upcoming book about Logan, I love his character! More power to you & I hope you continue writing more heart warming stories! I'm a fan now! <3 xx


message 4: by Kelly (new)

Kelly SO glad you wrote your story and then kept going!! These books are seriously some of my absolute faves! I'll never forget reading More Than This for the first time. It was the first book I read where I just HAD to write a review afterwards because I just loved it THAT much!
And it's crazy because that's how my reading obsession started too! Needing something to do during long breastfeeding sessions with my daughter. So glad I found your book/books!! <3


message 5: by Karina (new)

Karina Thank you so much for not ignoring the story in your head and instead sharing it with the rest of the world. I hated reading back in high school and even switched out of my advanced placement English class for the very same reason. I started reading with Twilight and after FSoG haven't looked back. I stumbled upon your writing (MTT) as a read/review when I first joined GR and you're one of the reasons why I now LOVE reading. Keep on keeping on, Jay! You've made me a Jaybird for life! :-D


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