Chapter 1 of The Housmates (unfinished draft)

THE HOUSEMATESDay 1The ferry glided ashore.  A bus waited on the hill.  Rain came down in silver sheets against the velvet darkness of the endless night.  It was like the opening to a horror movie.
Damien didn’t like wearing the hood over his head and had managed to peek out from beneath it several times in the last hour.  It was uncomfortable being in the dark, unable to see, unable to even hear properly. 
Damien’s hosts had told him that the hood was necessary – that the location of the island must be kept secret.  The only information they had divulged willingly was that his destination was somewhere off the northern coast of Scotland.  The atmosphere’s cold, penetrating bite made it easy to believe that Damien had been taken north.  He rubbed at his shoulders.
Freezing my bloody knob off here.
Not wanting to push his luck, Damien pulled the hood back down over his face and engaged his hearing.  It sounded like the captain of the small passenger ferry was about to give orders.
“Okay, everybody.  I’m afraid you will have to leave your hoods on for just a little while longer.  The house is just over a mile inland.  A bus will take you there now, and then you can finally take the hoods off and settle in.”
There were sighs of relief from all around.  Damien wasn’t sure how many other people were on the ferry with him, but he estimated there was at least ten; definitely enough bodies to constitute a crowd.  They were all wearing hoods the same as his.
So I have about a dozen competitors.  That puts my odds of winning pretty low.
Near the ferry’s bow, a man had begun ushering everybody ashore, barking orders at them in a clipped tone.  Damien stumbled past the gruff gentleman and was hustled along onto what felt like a wooden jetty beneath his feet.  The freezing rain made him shudder as he left the shelter of the boat.
Remind me never to come to Scotland again if this is what it’s like.
Damien started up an incline, towards where he imagined the bus was parked.  An engine idled nearby and the acrid odour of spent petrol mingled with the scent of wet soil.  An owl hooted.
When Damien finally stepped onto the waiting bus, the warmth was heavenly.  It must have been several hours since his journey had begun and he was starting to feel the weariness in his bones. 
They had collected Damien from a train station in Sheffield, where he had then been driven even further north for almost three hours.  That was when he had been told to put the hood on.  He transferred onto a coach, along with several other people, and got going again on yet another leg of the journey.  The hood prevented him from seeing who his companions were, but he heard some of them chatting to whoever was closest to them. 
Time became a blur.  Weariness and boredom had led to a dazed passing of seconds and minutes and hours until, finally, Damien and his companions were boarded onto a ferry, which had taken them on the short trip to where they were now. 
Damien was glad to hear he was now only a mile away from his final destination.
Thought I’d never get there.
He groped his way along the aisle of the stationary bus and found himself a seat on his left.  He sat down and relaxed back into the soft cushion.
Oh, yeah.  That feels better.
Just another twenty minutes and this wretched trip will be over.
Not long now until this whole thing begins.
Nerves began to tickle at Damien’s psyche as he sat there and waited for the bus to get moving.  The bizarre nature of the situation he was in began to sink in.  It was something he never would have got himself into usually, but…
When needs must…
The Devil drives.
Damien felt someone dump down on the seat behind him as the bus grumbled into gear and started moving.  The rain continued falling heavy outside, thudding against the window panels on both sides of the vehicle. 
Damien closed his eyes beneath his hood and allowed himself to rest.  He had a worry that rest would be hard to come by during the days ahead.
The bus sped up, jerking and hopping as it traversed uneven terrain.  A couple of times it felt as though the vehicle had gone off road completely, so bad was the rocking and tilting.  There were no sounds coming from outside: no noise from other traffic, no grinding steel of industrial buildings.  Wherever the bus was heading, it was seemingly in the middle of nowhere.
The stranger on the seat behind Damien leant forward and whispered to him.  “Pretty exciting, huh?”
With the hood still over his head, Damien was unsure if the woman’s question had been directed at him.  After a few seconds he decided that it was and gave a reply.  “I don’t know if ‘exciting’ is the word I would use.”
The stranger huffed.  “Really, then how would you describe it?”
“Overdone.” 
“What do you mean?”
“I mean this is all a bit dramatic.  We’ve been whisked away in the dead of night under the cover of darkness to a destination we know nothing about.  Is it really necessary?”
“It’s just part of the experience.  Putting on a good show.”
Damien sighed.  “It’s stupid.”  He pulled the hood off his head and blinked his eyes.  He’d had enough of being in the dark.  The whole thing was ridiculous.  He understood the need for privacy, to a certain degree, but he was done feeling like a prisoner of war.
“Sir, please put your hood back on!”
Damien looked over at the front of the bus to see that the driver was twisting around to study him.  The man was skeletal with cheekbones that leapt out at right-angles.  Beside him stood a colleague: a burly man in a set of black overalls and work boots.
“Sir,” said the burly man beside the driver.  His dark eyes had narrowed and were targeted at Damien.  “Put your hood back on or you will be disqualified.  You must obey the rules at all times.  That is what you agreed when you signed up for the show.”
Damien stared out of the rain-soaked window.  A flash of lightning lit up the sky and the landscape came briefly into view.  The entire area was marked by grassy hills and craggy outcroppings, and not a great deal else. 
“Sir, I am going to give you three seconds…”
Damien rolled his eyes and sighed.  “Fine!  But this is getting stupid.”  He tugged the hood back over his head and cursed beneath it.
Why the hell did I agree to this?  I feel like a right dickhead.
The bus continued its journey for another five minutes before slowing down and eventually stopping.  Everybody sat in silence while they waited to be summoned.
“Can everybody please shuffle to the front of the bus,” said a voice that Damien recognised as belonging to the burly man in the black overalls. 
Damien got to his feet and felt his way down the aisle.  He immediately bumped into someone in front of him and had to wait for them to get moving.  Once they did, he followed after them.
At the front of the bus, someone placed a hand on Damien’s shoulder and manoeuvred him down the steps.  His feet planted down on wet, crunchinggravel.  Someone bumped into him from behind and sent him stumbling forward.  It wasn’t long before he was standing shoulder to shoulder with the rest of his unknown companions as they were corralled into a group.
“Okay, everybody.  You can now take off your hoods.”
Damien ripped his off and let it fall to the floor.  He couldn’t help himself from stomping it into the mud.  Everybody else in the crowd seemed equally relieved and there was a collective sigh among them.
The man in the black overalls stood in front of the assembled crowd and had been joined by several other men.  They all wore jeans and dark sweaters.  The sweaters had a logo of a great staring eye on the left shoulder.  It looked the type of symbol the Mason’s would use, or maybe a little like hieroglyphics.
Several yards ahead lay a vast complex which resembled a factory unit in many ways.  Barbed wire lined the edges of a ten-foot steel fence which ran around the sides and back of the complex.  Giant floodlights lit up the entire area.  It reminded Damien of a concentration camp.
“Now,” said the man in black overalls.  “You are about to enter our specially designed facility.  You will spend up to ten days inside; some of you, not so long.  In order to remain inside, you must obey all rules at all times.  Failure to follow rules will result in expulsion from the house.  Failure to follow commands will result in expulsion from the house.  Failure to participate will result in expulsion from the house.  Do all of you understand?”
The crowd mumbled affirmably.
The man continued.  “Each day inside the house will include a group task followed by a vote to eliminate one member of the household.  The winner or winners of the group task will be immune from receiving votes.  Each evening will feature an elimination task between the two members of the group who received the most votes.  The loser of the elimination task will be expelled from the house.  Is that clear?”
The crowd mumbled agreement once more.
“After all contestants, bar two, are eliminated, the prize money will have been won.  Two million pounds split between the final two housemates.  Those housemates will then have a choice – they can leave with a million each, or wage it against one another in a final elimination task.  The winner of the task will then leave the house with two million pounds in their bank account, while the loser will receive nothing.”
The group got excited and began looking around at one another as if to weigh up their competition.
They look like a bunch of rabid hyenas, Damien thought.  Am I the same as them?

The man in the black overalls clapped his hands together, regaining everybody’s attention.  “Okay, my friends,” he said.  “Welcome to the house and let the games begin.”
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Published on July 16, 2013 09:48
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message 1: by Alejandro (new)

Alejandro Mmh... I don't want to critique, but since you were so kind to share this draft in Goodreads...

You really want to name that character "Damien"?
I mean, everybody thinks on "The Omen" when hear the name Damien, and you even put a phrase of "The Devil drives".
I feel that people will read the book and not getting fully in the book, since a bit of their psyches were thinking about "The Omen" and that will detour attention from your book.
Maybe a different name to the character would give a separate identity to your book.
I really feel odd giving an opinion to an author with plenty of published books. I hope that would help in some way.


message 2: by Iain (new)

Iain Wright I take what you are saying, but damien is actually an existing character from another of my books, so this is a sequel in some ways.


message 3: by Alejandro (new)

Alejandro Iain wrote: "I take what you are saying, but damien is actually an existing character from another of my books, so this is a sequel in some ways."

Oh! I get it, like the cop from ASBO that he reappears in Sea Sick. In that case, there is nothing to do about it. :)

Anyway, thanks for reading my comment :)


message 4: by Alejandro (new)

Alejandro By the way, with your explanation about this character "Damien". I want to tell you that it's a great idea to use characters from one novel in another, in that way you are creating a whole universe for your books. I like when authors make that. I still have to read "Sea Sick" but when I was reading the synopsis and the name of the character sounded me too familiar I realized that it was the other cop, the male one from ASBO and I was delighted by that. Just that sold me the book to be next one to read from your bibliography. :)


message 5: by Iain (new)

Iain Wright Yeah I love connecting my stories, it's a great way to be inventive and provide a little more depth.


message 6: by Alejandro (new)

Alejandro Iain wrote: "Yeah I love connecting my stories, it's a great way to be inventive and provide a little more depth."

Awesome!!!

So, I want to ask you, is there a recommended order to read your novels? I mean besides the date of publication? Since I guess that it's better to read ASBO first and then Sea Sick, since if one reads them in the contrary order, the experience won't be as rich I guess.


message 7: by Claire Reviews (new)

Claire Reviews Iain i love this story! Please tell me you're planning to finish this book really soon? I really like the strange circumstance, like a spooky Big Brother!
Would love to finish reading this as the storyline really appeals to me. Thanks for sharing this :-)


message 8: by Iain (new)

Iain Wright Hopefully the housemates will be out late next month. The ideal order for my books is sam... asbo... the final winter... sea sick... ravage


message 9: by Alejandro (new)

Alejandro Iain wrote: "Hopefully the housemates will be out late next month. The ideal order for my books is sam... asbo... the final winter... sea sick... ravage"

Thanks for the information. I will then read "Sam", hopefully real soon.


message 10: by Claire Reviews (new)

Claire Reviews Iain wrote: "Hopefully the housemates will be out late next month."

Great...just in time for my birthday on the 30th :-)


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