(If men were meant to fly, we’d have been born with peanuts.)

I don’t like airports. Mostly because being in airports leads to being in airplanes. And being in airplanes can lead to flying in airplanes, eventually, though these days, you never know.

These days, if you must travel, it makes more sense to just drive to your destination, unless you’re going to some foreign country, like Iran, or Detroit. For me, flying holds zero allure, what with all the downsides: the prices; the pre-flight secu...