If he is a friend… well, kind of a friend, with a soft well meaning face. If you are wrapped in the pink dressing gown with the hood. If your skin is still wet. If he can smell the soap suds you were too rushed to wash properly when the doorbell rang. If your hair is still dipping with water crystals while you tell him you’ll be ready soon. If he told you he liked you many times but you paid him no mind. If he isn’t your type. If you leave the living room door open when you go upstairs to change, humming along to a song on your radio.If you hear him climb the stairs do you worry yet? Do you consider yet, that some men get the wrong idea? Or are you too busy with the song and the coconut oil to realise the footsteps aren’t heading to the bathroom? Are you both alone in the house? Do you lead him on? Are you all alone in the house? Has it slipped your mind how some men forget themselves? If he asks if you need any help, from just behind the door, do you hide your shock? Did you learn well from your mother… how to swallow discomfort in spades, without anybody noticing? Do you flirt a little. Is there a smile in your voice? Do you giggle before saying, “No thank-you.” Do you try to sound more in control than you feel? You were silly to laugh. Maybe it was that. Or your no was not strong or clear enough, perhaps. Do you miss the signs?  Are you careless, at all? Does he try the door?  Do you miss the signs? When he moves close do you shrink back? Your no is not loud or strong enough, perhaps.Do you freeze? Do you freeze? You could fight or scream or kick or swear or slap. Is it just an unfortunate turn to the day? Can you really call this an attack? If he gets it out but doesn’t put it in… if he laughs before he puts it away…If he pulls at your robe, if he uses his hands…is he just a friend getting carried away? You still say hello in the street avoiding his eyes, scared of your own rage. Furthermore this was weeks ago. Furthermore no one likes a tease. Most of all, what nobody knows cant hurt you. 

All it takes is the right kind of listener and you will be back to remembering you are someone’s daughter. Don’t believe that you asked for it. Or that it was not awful. Or that he is just very forward…bad, but not terrible.