For about a year or four, my wife and I didn't have a membership to Costco. Correction, we didn't have an active membership to Costco. We didn't pay the $45 to renew our card because we used to buy ridiculously large things we didn't need. So instead, we would just walk around and pretend the food samples were really just a large, geographically scattered buffet line.

And the pizza, who can pass up that cheap, voluminous pizza Costco serves? It's like a culinary science experiment gone right. ...