The Love Triangle
Yesterday someone anonymously commented on my "Killing David" post (I think the same person actually commented twice – if I’m wrong about that, forgive me). First of all, let me say that I LOVE talking about my books so I will never, ever be upset if someone tells me their thoughts – even if they don’t like something! You – as the reader – have the right to think whatever you want, like whatever you want, and dislike whatever you want!! If you are upset about something that happens in the books, that means that you are emotionally involved with the characters and – as an author – I count that as a success! If you post here, I am likely to comment back and let you know my opinions or tell you why I don’t agree with you or something like that. It is called having a conversation and is always done with a smile (at least on my end!). If someone posts something nasty or mean (I have had that happen in reviews), I will probably just delete your comment. But if you just want to have a good ol’ fashioned discussion about the books with me, let’s go!! I want to hear your opinions and I hope you want to hear mine!
So yesterday, this person (or possibly persons) stated that: “i couldn't warm up to tanner and Laci and although Tanner was a good guy and friend i couldn't get the image of him pinning after Laci throughout David and Laci's marriage. I would have rather Laci got together with a stranger than Tanner it almost felt as if it was betrayal to David and that he was never Laci's great love but rather an order from God.” In the other post it was worded slightly differently: “No doubt Tanner waa a good friend but i couldn'r remove the image of him pinning after Laci all those years when she was with David and i felt it belittled the sanctity of David and Laci's relationship and it made me also question Laci's commitnent to David.”
I would agree with you, overall. First of all, I would say that Laci and Tanner both had to constantly suppress their feelings toward one another throughout the years. They were attracted to one another and loved one another very much and the only reason they weren’t together is because Laci was being obedient to God and Tanner knew that if Laci wasn’t obedient to God that she wouldn’t be the woman he loved. I heard Lisa Whelchel (of Facts of Life and Survivor fame) on a radio broadcast years ago and she stated that God told her to that she was going to marry someone. She was not “on board” right away and did not have that chemistry and “those” feelings, but she was obedient and agreed to marry him. She said that those feelings did come and that she knew he was who she was supposed to be with (granted the two of them got divorced recently, but that was after many years and is a topic for a different blog).
Laci loved David, but she never felt that deep passion and chemistry that she did with Tanner. You can’t make yourself feel that for someone. But if you are feeling that for someone that you shouldn’t, you can ignore it. Like Lily reminds Marco in What I Want : You can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but that doesn’t mean you need to let them make nests in your hair. You can choose not to dwell on those thoughts. You can choose to not act on them. And that’s what Laci did and what Tanner did.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Love is a choice, and Laci chose to love David because she loved God. It’s the same thing Jordan did in Not Quickly Broken – he chose to love Charlotte even though he didn’t really feel like it. Marriage is about more than passion and chemistry. Marriage is about making the choice – every day – that you are going to love the person you are married to. When Laci was mad at David or worried about his fidelity to her, yes, she let herself think about Tanner, and yes, this was wrong. But Laci is human and she does wrong things. The only way I was able to let myself write from her point of view (in Remind Me ) was to do it during a time in her life when she wasn’t all goody-two-shoes. My characters don’t always do right. They don’t always make the right choices.
Finally, I think that David always knew what Laci and Tanner had between them. It bothered him sometimes, but he was able to appreciate what God had given him and the sacrifice that both Laci and Tanner were making. He was able to be thankful for it instead of being upset about it (although he did waver there for a bit when he first found out about it). By the end, he knew that Tanner was going to be there for Laci. (I don’t think he knew he was going to die as early as he did and that Tanner and Laci were actually going to be able to get together) but he was okay with the fact that they loved each other because he knew they would never act on it inappropriately. He also knew how much they both loved him. As Laci said at the end of Alone , David loved both of them and would never want either of them to be alone.
So yesterday, this person (or possibly persons) stated that: “i couldn't warm up to tanner and Laci and although Tanner was a good guy and friend i couldn't get the image of him pinning after Laci throughout David and Laci's marriage. I would have rather Laci got together with a stranger than Tanner it almost felt as if it was betrayal to David and that he was never Laci's great love but rather an order from God.” In the other post it was worded slightly differently: “No doubt Tanner waa a good friend but i couldn'r remove the image of him pinning after Laci all those years when she was with David and i felt it belittled the sanctity of David and Laci's relationship and it made me also question Laci's commitnent to David.”
I would agree with you, overall. First of all, I would say that Laci and Tanner both had to constantly suppress their feelings toward one another throughout the years. They were attracted to one another and loved one another very much and the only reason they weren’t together is because Laci was being obedient to God and Tanner knew that if Laci wasn’t obedient to God that she wouldn’t be the woman he loved. I heard Lisa Whelchel (of Facts of Life and Survivor fame) on a radio broadcast years ago and she stated that God told her to that she was going to marry someone. She was not “on board” right away and did not have that chemistry and “those” feelings, but she was obedient and agreed to marry him. She said that those feelings did come and that she knew he was who she was supposed to be with (granted the two of them got divorced recently, but that was after many years and is a topic for a different blog).
Laci loved David, but she never felt that deep passion and chemistry that she did with Tanner. You can’t make yourself feel that for someone. But if you are feeling that for someone that you shouldn’t, you can ignore it. Like Lily reminds Marco in What I Want : You can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but that doesn’t mean you need to let them make nests in your hair. You can choose not to dwell on those thoughts. You can choose to not act on them. And that’s what Laci did and what Tanner did.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Love is a choice, and Laci chose to love David because she loved God. It’s the same thing Jordan did in Not Quickly Broken – he chose to love Charlotte even though he didn’t really feel like it. Marriage is about more than passion and chemistry. Marriage is about making the choice – every day – that you are going to love the person you are married to. When Laci was mad at David or worried about his fidelity to her, yes, she let herself think about Tanner, and yes, this was wrong. But Laci is human and she does wrong things. The only way I was able to let myself write from her point of view (in Remind Me ) was to do it during a time in her life when she wasn’t all goody-two-shoes. My characters don’t always do right. They don’t always make the right choices.
Finally, I think that David always knew what Laci and Tanner had between them. It bothered him sometimes, but he was able to appreciate what God had given him and the sacrifice that both Laci and Tanner were making. He was able to be thankful for it instead of being upset about it (although he did waver there for a bit when he first found out about it). By the end, he knew that Tanner was going to be there for Laci. (I don’t think he knew he was going to die as early as he did and that Tanner and Laci were actually going to be able to get together) but he was okay with the fact that they loved each other because he knew they would never act on it inappropriately. He also knew how much they both loved him. As Laci said at the end of Alone , David loved both of them and would never want either of them to be alone.
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