Yeah, I know what you’re thinking could have done that, but not this time. You guys are so bad. *shakes head*  Actually it was kind of close though, that’s why I have to share. Now for those of you who read my blog you know Honey had an accident several months ago involving his hand. Anyway, since it’s been healing we’ve had to do therapy on it. And when I say we I really mean me. He thinks he can work with it everyday and that’s it. When I know that’s only half the battle as the other ligaments and muscles that don’t get worked need to be exercised. Long story short? Every night before we go to bed I do this massage workout routine. There’s oil and rubbing and bending and flexing so yeah, it sounds really exciting, but meh, no so much.

Now last night Honey’s in bed before me. He’s lying flat on his back with the covers up to his chest when I bring the oil to his side of the bed. I didn’t think he’d been in bed long enough to fall asleep, but when I heard his quiet and even breathing I realized he was dozing. So there I am thinking maybe I should just forget about it for the night. Only? I have that OCD problem where I start to worry that if I miss this one night his hand will take a step back in-the-getting-better-direction, so here’s what happened.

I put the oil on the nightstand and curl down over him to whisper, “Hey, babe, it’s time for me to do my job. I have to see to your hand.”

That’s when the duvet, with sheet attached, smacked me so hard in the face I nearly fell backwards as one corner of the bedding caught me in the eye.

Honey didn’t even notice. He just shook his previous sleep off and said, “All right. A hand job. Beautiful.”

If you can imagine me glaring at him from watering and stinging eyes, please do, because I was and they were. How the hell…? Then it came back to me. Yes, I used the trigger words while he was in a dream-state. I should have known. Never mention hand and job so close together when your honey is lying flat on his back and naked beneath the sheets.

There I was wiping the tears off my cheek with the back the back of my hand when he gets up on elbows and frowns at me. I thought he was going to apologize but this is what I got instead. “Hey, why are you crying? I’m not going to say no.”

Seriously? If I could have rolled my eyes I would have. Instead I stemmed the watering as best I could, and snatched up the oil, grumbling, “You’re such a jerk.”

He fell back against his pillow and sighed, “Oh yeah, keep talking dirty to me. I love it.”

“Aren’t you going to cover yourself up?”

He opened one and gave me a grin. “No.”

Hm. It was at this point I decided to give him what he wanted and began talking dirty to him. Really dirty, and so the second I finished with his hand, predictably he said, “Come here.”

I shook my head and then spying how stunned he was, I added, “Unlike you I am saying no.”

Poor baby. There I was mentally patting myself on the back ready to do the hair flick and ask, “Who’s crying now?” But you gotta know that didn’t happen. I won’t go into what did, all I will say is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Honey’s hand. Nothing.

Riley who is contemplating what simple, and yet complicated creatures men are.