I’ve always believed it was best to give. Over and over again…and it’s been many years of over and over again, I was told that it’s better to give than to receive. And I’ve never thought twice about that teaching…until recently.

A few weeks back a dear friend invited me to a gathering at our church. Now, I normally don’t go to evening events because my weekday afternoons and evenings are filled with carpools and kid’s activities. But the topic was eastern religions, and that topic intrigues me like a good mystery. The speaker was a professor from the Mid-West, a good friend of my friend, and I knew my friend well enough to know that this was an opportunity not to miss. With my youngest child in tow, I dropped my carpool at the gym and headed to the church.

The professor greeted us at the library door in the church’s faith center. His skin was darker than mine and judgment about his background and religious beliefs passed without due diligence. I introduced my youngest child. While explaining that she could entertain herself, she produced an iPad. I asked how long the event would be.

“It’ll end at 8:30. But I could talk until midnight.” He said. I wondered how long I could talk about something.

“We do need to leave at 8:30. I have a carpool of kids to pick up at the gym. Please excuse us if we leave mid-sentence.” He didn’t seem offended.

We took our seats in the rear corner. The room filled quickly. My youngest child was the youngest in attendance. Most in attendance were older than me.

After introductions and explanations about his background in India, he got right to the point. “There are 330 million gods in my country. But only one God that is supreme. It’s reported that Christians have 41,000 different sects. But only one God.” I didn’t know much about Hinduism except that its core opposed that of Christianity. Christians have one God who is personal and knowable and one set of scriptures. Christians believe that God created the earth and all who live upon it, that man is created in God’s image and lives only once, and that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone. Hindus don’t believe in Jesus and our concepts of God differ quite a bit. Major differences…but the sheer quantity of people on both sides leveled the playing field. As he continued about his traditions and the similarities between eastern religions a

When the conversation turned to giving versus receiving, his words sank in at a different level than anticipated. ”How can you give if you don’t know how to receive?” In his next breath he twisted the words around.  “If you don’t know how to receive, if you don’t fill yourself up, how can you give? To receive comes first. Only then can you give.” The words sank in even deeper.

I had never given thought to the importance of receiving. The emphasis in my religion had always been giving. The Bible reiterates this theme relentlessly.

I listened as he continued. “When your child says, ‘I love you.’ Respond with a thank you. Absorb that statement. Don’t ruin it by responding, ‘I love you, too.’  When your spouse says that you look nice, soak it up. There isn’t a need to respond with ‘You look good, too.” He went through more examples. But it only took these two to make me understand the importance of the moment of receiving.

The following day I began taking notice of how I receive from others. I paid attention when my 10 year old greeted me in the morning and said, “I love you, mom.” I paid attention when my 11 year old said, “I like your outfit today, Mom. You’re putting it together well.” I paid attention to the grocery store clerk and the schoolteacher and the postal lady, people I see daily. They offered hellos with smiles and asked how my day was going. I took it all in. And it felt good. Each time I let myself receive I felt my insides filling up.

The professor taught me a lesson I will never forget.  Only when I know how to receive and allow myself to receive can I give myself to others. Turns out that our religious beliefs were the same. The Indian professor was Catholic. Turns out I could have listened to the professor talk well past midnight. My judgment about skin color had been correct. Everything else had been incorrect.

Each day is a work in progress but today I feel full.