(From knickers to new planets. Go, NASA, go.)

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There’s big news on the intergalactic front: NASA has unearthed another Earth! (Well, it’s not exactly Earth – on the entire uninhabited planet, there are only 57 McDonald’s. But it’s close.)

We’re talking about a whole heavenly body here, a promising planet that NASA has given the no-nonsense name of Kepler-186f — so named because…well, because it was named by NASA. You want passion, tell Congress to fund Emily Dickinson.

You’d think our...