(Okay, let’s see you work Prince and Al Gore into the same humor column!)

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Stop the presses!

The artist formerly known as Prince has made an announcement: he’s decided to stop swearing. I know! Call somebody! This proclamation is what music critics and celebrity watchers would call a “watershed moment,” or what normal human beings would call a “slow news day.”

Obviously, the ground-breaking Grammy winner is no stranger to controversy. Heck, his fourth album is named “Controversy.” (His...