Have you ever sat down to read a book and wondered to yourself “what is it like to be an author?” You immerse yourself into the pages, getting lost in a fictitious story and think to yourself that it must take a strange individual to create the stories you enjoy. Each book that you read finds its own way of grabbing you by the hair and not letting go until the very last word. You follow your favorite authors on social media, posting their teasers, quoting their books and re-tweeting them. You, in a sense become interested in what their life is like? Is it glamorous? Do they have paparazzi trailing them around in the grocery store like the popular celebrities on television? What do they do when they aren’t putting words on paper?

I’d often wondered the above things, many times actually. I had this preconceived notion that all authors were these darks souls that needed a bottle of anti-depressants just to make it through a day. That they were loner introverts who shied away from any public attention at all costs. I could picture them sitting in a locked room, dust particles drifting through the air while they sipped a tumbler full of whiskey and penned away on their latest work. They rarely showered, combed their hair or took care of themselves in any hygienic manner. I mean, they had to be like that right? It took someone of doubtful mental stability to write some of the works we see on the shelves of our local bookstore. It wasn’t until I found myself in writing that I realized I was sorely mistaken in my assumption. No, authors aren’t smelly alcoholics who live under large stones in the Pacific Northwest. They are real people. People who write because they have something to say. They are creative, thoughtful and downright amazing individuals who are changing the way we think, one book at a time.

My love for the written word was discovered in my teenage years. I found that I could express myself through the form of poetry. I wrote poems about love and friendship, generally fluffy stuff that made me feel good inside. I was happy when I was writing something. I think I’d always known I wanted to become an author, but there was a problem…I didn’t know how. I tried many times throughout my life to write something more epic than just a few lines of rhyming poetry. Each time though, I came up short. I think all along I knew that nothing would come of my efforts, so I did the one thing I knew well…I gave up. I transferred the numerous incomplete manuscripts to the computer recycle bin and hit the delete button. I was disappointed in myself for doing so, but deep inside I knew I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have what it took to make my dream come true. However much of a let-down it was, honestly, I am thankful for the fact that none of it worked. It took quite a while for me to realize that I did have what it took though, the only think lacking was the confidence in myself that I could do it. So I did.

I don’t really have a definite explanation as to how it all began. But I do remember literally picking up my laptop one day, opening a new Word document and could see my fingers gliding over the keys in a perfect symphony of literary love. I worked day and night to pen what I thought was the greatest book on the planet. But here’s the deal, I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing. I kept it a huge secret. It wasn’t that I was afraid of someone trying to steal my ideas, no, I was actually ashamed of what I was doing. Not because I chose the Erotica genre to write, but because I didn’t know what sort of reception I’d receive from those closest to me. Would they think that I’d gone off the deep end? That I was now the one with the tumbler of whiskey who had become unsociable? I couldn’t risk them thinking any of those things because I wasn’t those things. I was outgoing, engaging and a bit of a social butterfly. I didn’t want them to think I’d changed. It wasn’t until my husband discovered my work in progress on our shared laptop that I decided it was time to tell someone my hopes and dreams. My fears were quickly laid to rest when I revealed everything. I found that everyone in my life was completely supportive and very much surprised. That gave me the rest of the confidence I needed to keep going. To continue on the path that I’d decided to travel on.

After completing my first book, I jumped into the world of self-publishing. I didn’t have the funds to hire an editor or proofreader, so I took on those tasks on my own, thinking I could do as good a job as anyone else. I watched as my book hit the market, and held my breath. I smiled every single day because I’d done it, I’d written a book and it was published. Then, the true reality of what I’d done hit me when I started to read the reviews that were being posted online. “This book falls short” “It was a good concept, but that’s it” “Needs an editor” “So many spelling errors, this author needs a proofreader”. My heart was shattered. I failed. I took on everything by myself and had fallen short once again. My tears began to flow, my stomach hurt, and my entire world felt like it was crashing down around me. How could those people be so cruel? How could they rip apart my work like that? Did they not have feelings? Were they just searching for a reason to bash something and I was the victim? I didn’t know if it was worth it to have to read something like those reviews. I was defeated and lost.

But was with all things in life, those reviews didn’t kill me, they made me stronger. They showed me that there was room for improvement with my writing. And I think I knew that when I hit the publish button, I just didn’t want to admit it. So I pulled on my big girl panties and decided that I wouldn’t let those reviews kill my dream, I would use them to get better. I think there are learning experiences in everything we do. We just have to step back and be willing to take those lessons to improve ourselves. To this day I am thankful for the positive and negative reviews that I receive for my work.

Fast forward to a few years later and I have accomplished more than I ever dreamed. I have a wonderful publisher, just released my first book again, which was completely re-written and edited. I have met so many amazing authors who, like me, have been through the ringer. We are not dark souls hiding from the world, we are normal people with big dreams. We think differently than most, our brains rarely shut down, and we live on caffeinated beverages for the most part. Sure we have our dark times in our lives, who doesn’t? But we use those experiences to create books. We take our own lives and give you a story based on parts of it. We can make you laugh, cry and get hot under the collar just by reading the pages of our work. We can make you long for a lost lover, want to commit murder, and learn to love your family deeper than you’d thought possible. Authors have the power to evoke so much emotion from our reader that it seems as if you’re living the life of our characters. That’s what we are about.

Oh and about the paparazzi…we like to imagine they are following us through the grocery store. But in all reality, it’s just another customer that has mistaken us for a grocery store employee.

C.D. Taylor

Check out my newest book “Our Second Chance”

Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iTunes