Letter to TV Licensing

Dear Sir/Madam,

Thank you for the ten letters you sent concerning the lack of a TV license at this address, each demanding action and making threats.

Presumably, you find it inconceivable that I might be able to live my life without a television set. Please rest assured that I have clean drinking water and adequate sanitation; televisual entertainment is the only impoverished aspect of my life.

As it happens, I find it inconceivable that you could live your life without a...