It’s Tagged for Death week! Write an opening line for this garage-sale-themed picture:

Jessie: Ellie was a literally minded woman. When she said she was holding a garage sale she meant it. She took it as a good sign that the first thing to go that morning was the garage door.

Julie: Leave it to Ted. “I can open a time vortex and bring Uncle Chet back.” “That’s nice, sweetie.” “Don’t believe me?” “No, no I don’t.” The next morning the car, sans Uncle Chet, shows up at the garage sale. And I can’t find Ted anywhere. The car could probably help get him back. But who could turn down $1000?

Edith: Man, doing surveillance at a yard sale sucks. All these people coming and going. But I know the guy who left that wad of drug money in the pile of clothes last week is going to show up looking for it. And then he’ll be looking at a nice long stay in prison.

Liz: I hoped I was a good enough shot to pick off my target; otherwise I was going to ruin some poor innocent schmuck’s Saturday morning bargain hunting.

Barb: The fourth time the red Corvette cruised by, I got my hopes up. He was cute and blond, though his face was obscured by his sunglasses. By the fifth time, I was worried, and when he was still doing it, long after we’d shut down the sale and picked up the lawn, after night had fallen and my parents had gone home, I began to panic.

Sherry: I put a “price firm” sign on grandpa’s old truck. If one more person asked me to lower the price they were going to be hanging upside down from the rope in my neighbor’s tree.

Readers: Add yours!