It is probably less widespread than the media makes it out to be, and more widespread than people make it out to be. But first you must ask yourself: are you talking about sharing spouses in lifestyle choices, swinging or polyamory?

Basically this question introduces the question about monogamy and consensual non-monogamy, and the concept that monogamy is a continuum.

Non-vanilla, non-socially licensed practices happen underground, or at least in the privacy of people’s homes. Either privately or secretly. What the Internet has done is taken the underground and given it a platform. We will never know the full truth, because we only talk about what is acceptable to talk about.

Is sharing spouses the new norm? No. Is it part of the exploration for a new norm? Yes. If you share your spouse, you are seeking ways to integrate their need for stability with their need for emotional and sexual feeling. It is in this idea of reconciliation that the idea of sharing takes place, without all the havoc and heartbreak that secret non-monogamy can bring.

So it’s not widespread, but it’s becoming more mainstream. Sexual choices change throughout history. The two most important mainstreaming practices these days are the BDSM lifestyle and oral sex, while pedophilia has become the curse of them all. Things come to the fore, and others completely receed because of the soil change.

Sexual practices and the normality typically go hand-in-hand with other changes in society. That’s why you’re seeing “sharing spouses” more mentioned and talked about. The new conversation is about the new monogamy, not contraception or premarital sex. This is the new frontier

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