Guest Blog by Justin Robinson

In relationships men have a pretty hard time of it nowadays, and so we should; we’ve ruled the roost unchallenged for millennia. Our prior governance, however, makes relationships no less challenging.

When I say ‘men’, I actually mean ‘me.’ I have a hard time of it. Or rather, I and other men like me. So what do I mean by ‘men like me?’ I refer to the hopeless romantic, men for whom love is important. We are happy to make sacrifices, to compromise, to allow the involvement of a significant other to take a large slice of our life. We want to be chivalrous and charming, loving and gentle. We want to cook and clean and build and repair. We want to caress and kiss.

And ravage. We certainly want to ravage. Breathless quickies in inappropriate places or long, slow lovemaking full of eye contact and deep kisses. Occasionally we want to spend an afternoon in the bedroom that’s so frantic and sexual that a requirement for redecoration is prompted.

For the hopeless romantic, loyalty, fearsome loyalty, is guaranteed. A dog’s loyalty resembles that of Tiger Woods in comparison to us. We do not wander. Our heads may get turned, but we will look, then promptly walk the other way. The hopeless romantic never needs to delete a text or email. We are loyal in other ways…your faults and mistakes (you do have them), our rows and bickering (we’ll certainly have them), are between us. We don’t bitch and moan about you to anyone.

You will be showered with affirmations. Not meaningless, trite ones, or just when you’re gussied up with perfect hair, faultless make-up, and the sort of skin that only happens with great care and at the right time in the month. You can take our breath away first thing in the morning when your hair is capable of nesting a family of roosting ravens, with streaks of improperly removed mascara schlepped across one eyelid and a crust of dried dribble on your cheek.

Hopeless Romantic Rules

In short, you’ll be worshipped by the hopeless romantic. We may walk that treacherous fine line between healthy dependency and co-dependency, but we – we men – are bloody good to have around most of the time.

What do we want in return? Not much, just a version of the above to be reciprocated. Don’t panic, we don’t want the whole shebang, just your version of it. The 100% loyalty should be a given, but as for the rest, we just need regular glimpses of a ‘love lite,’ if you like. Enjoy your life, your work and your friends. Have a blast, stay out until dawn; we’ll be looking forward to you crawling under the covers when you get home. We just ask that you keep your lips to yourself…and your phone number.  And your WhatsApp, Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Pinger, and all that other shite.

So why am I and my ilk so hard done by? Because the rules have changed in recent years; multiple dating, overlaps, testing water from within the relationship. I’m sure that always went on to some extent, but social media and the myriad online communication tools have made it all so horribly simple. Not to mention concealable.

You know, I’ve just had a hideous thought.

Whilst writing I’ve been thinking of past relationships that have foundered with women of different ages, varying nationalities, from a range of social and economic classes, and I’ve been hit with the awful realisation that with all these variables, there is only one constant. Me.

Perhaps I’m not a hopeless romantic, maybe I’m just romantically hopeless.

Copyright 2015, Justin Robinson

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