(Did single-celled life have to share cellphones?)

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Okay, enough is enough. America, we’re facing a cultural crisis that demands action, and so I’m casting a net. It’s time for an intervention, and I’m looking for volunteers. Why? Because scientists who get asked to appear on TV shows are writing their own lines … and this has to stop.

There were two short films that prompted me to commit my resources to this crisis, both of them featured on a website dedicated to nothing but cold...