The safety catch is OFF!
Today I sent to my poor editor version 290 of my manuscript (Bound to the Bounty Hunter – working title). This book has taken four hundred years to write (yes, I am that old) and aged me ninety years. I’ve really, really struggled with this book. I love the characters, I love the story, I adore the secondary characters, so…
As I was about to cry, hurl and call an innocent apple a bad word, I had an epiphany (it was 2 a.m. – it could have been more of a breakdown). My manuscript was as interesting as a boiled egg with no seasoning. Nutritionally sound, but kind of bland. Is there a worst word out there to describe yourself than bland? That was me, writing beige.
Why?
Safe.
I was writing safe. Due to my children needing straight teeth and an education, moving countries and all the usual stuff that comes with life, I haven’t written a lot and now I’m in the position where I can and it terrified me. I wrote my manuscript and sat on it (not literally, that thing would be flatter than my pavlova’s).
Even the cat is flabbergasted.
Going back through I was thinking “This is ok.” Hmmm. Ok. Oh, hell no! I don’t want to write ok. Who wants to read ok? I know I don’t. The little safety catch was on in my head and if I want this book to be the best I can make it, I had to flick the safety off and go for it, which meant putting me on the page wearing high heels, black stockings and a slinky dress with a dirty martini in my hand. The beige wearing woman pulling up her socks, straightening her cardigan, holding a cup of sugarless tea had to go. Sorry, beigey, but you’re out of here. I sat down and rewrote solidly for four days, looking like something Medusa had hacked up and not caring. One word? Liberating.
It could be that my editor will hate it, people will think I need medication (let’s not go there yet), but it’s me and if I can’t be me, then I’m screwed. So here’s to all of us flicking off our safety switches and being who we are, not what we think people want to see.
Okay, admittedly I’d love to swap places with someone for a day and that person would be my yoga instructor, Carrie who is the most positive, caring, nurturing person I know and forever corrects my downward dog with a smile.
Is there a person you’d like to be for a day?
As I was about to cry, hurl and call an innocent apple a bad word, I had an epiphany (it was 2 a.m. – it could have been more of a breakdown). My manuscript was as interesting as a boiled egg with no seasoning. Nutritionally sound, but kind of bland. Is there a worst word out there to describe yourself than bland? That was me, writing beige.
Why?Safe.
I was writing safe. Due to my children needing straight teeth and an education, moving countries and all the usual stuff that comes with life, I haven’t written a lot and now I’m in the position where I can and it terrified me. I wrote my manuscript and sat on it (not literally, that thing would be flatter than my pavlova’s).
Even the cat is flabbergasted.Going back through I was thinking “This is ok.” Hmmm. Ok. Oh, hell no! I don’t want to write ok. Who wants to read ok? I know I don’t. The little safety catch was on in my head and if I want this book to be the best I can make it, I had to flick the safety off and go for it, which meant putting me on the page wearing high heels, black stockings and a slinky dress with a dirty martini in my hand. The beige wearing woman pulling up her socks, straightening her cardigan, holding a cup of sugarless tea had to go. Sorry, beigey, but you’re out of here. I sat down and rewrote solidly for four days, looking like something Medusa had hacked up and not caring. One word? Liberating.
It could be that my editor will hate it, people will think I need medication (let’s not go there yet), but it’s me and if I can’t be me, then I’m screwed. So here’s to all of us flicking off our safety switches and being who we are, not what we think people want to see.
Okay, admittedly I’d love to swap places with someone for a day and that person would be my yoga instructor, Carrie who is the most positive, caring, nurturing person I know and forever corrects my downward dog with a smile.
Is there a person you’d like to be for a day?
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