Maggie Garner asked Cynthia Hamilton:

When writing family history or memoir, how do you silence the voice in your head that tells your you're going to be sued, ostracized, disowned, or tarred and feathered?

Cynthia Hamilton Hi Maggie!

I laughed when I read your question. I must confess there were moments while working on Finding Ruth when I worried about what others would think. I can tell you I would've never have written it if my mother hadn't developed Alzheimer's. Never in a million years. I think there are a few episodes in the book my brother would take issue with. But because he is now the one responsible for overseeing our mom's care, he can't bring himself to read it yet. He's just too close to the subject matter. So I've dogged another bullet, at least for the time being!

I have to admit I pulled a few punches while writing this book. I never meant for this to be a tell-all affair. What I was trying to do was put together my mom's life so I could better understand what she'd been through, and what made her behave the way she did. In the process, I had to face a lot of painful situations that my mind had glossed over or shut out altogether.

And really, this book was about healing - about finding a way to forgive, forget and to heal. It was important for me to understand who my mom was, what had altered her personality, and more importantly, who she was before all the heartaches and disappointments. There's also an important message that I wanted to share, and that is to ask questions of your loved ones while you have the chance.

And to answer your question, once I started on the project and got caught up in what I was discovering about my mom, I silenced the nagging, worrywart voice in my head. Piecing together her life accurately was the only thing that mattered. I may have to deal with some backlash at some point, but I know that I covered the story fairly. And in the end, it's a tribute to her strength of character and is a story about being able to love each other once everything else is stripped away.

So now I have a question for you: are you about to embark on a similar journey of your own?? If so, I wish you luck. You will probably encounter a good deal of surprises which may change your opinions. If I can be of any assistance - resources, methods, etc. - please feel free to ask!

Thank you so much for your question. It was nice to connect with you!

Warm regards,
Cynthia

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