So, this is my first time to post a puzzler. Hope you'll be interested enough o read it. This is from one of my favorite author and series!
She jabbed her finger toward the portrait. “It’s h-hard to believe a sweet child like that could grow up into such a d-depraved, egotistical, immature, w-womanizing, job-stealing rat!”
“Life’s funny that way.” He handed her another tissue. “Heroine, honey, do you think you could stop crying long enough for the two of us to talk?”
She shook her head in a wobbly arc. “I’m not ever going to st-stop. And do you know why? Because I’m going to sp-spend the rest of my life eating m-mashed potatoes and smelling like disen—disen—fectant.” Another wail. “Do you know what happens when you’re around d-death all the time? Your body dries up!” She startled him by clasping her hands over her breasts. “They’re drying up. I’m drying up! Now I’m going to die without ever having s-sex!”
His hand stilled on her shoulders. “Are you telling me you’re a virgin?”
“Of course I’m a virgin! Who would want to have sex with someone as h-homely as me?”
Hero was too much of a gentleman to let that one go by. “Why just about any healthy red-blooded male, honey.”
“Ha!” She withdrew her hands from her breasts and reached for another tissue.
“I’m serious.”
Even drunk, Heroine wasn’t taking any of his malarkey . . “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Have s-sex with me. Right now. Yes! R-right this very minute.” Her hands flew to the buttons on the front of her white blouse, and she began pulling them open.
Hahaha. Kym, you got it right. It's HEAVEN, TEXAS by SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS. Not my favorite either but that scene sure made me laugh. And pity Gracie (heroine) at the same time. I'm still in college and a virgin (yes, I'm proud) and I don't know if I ever going to get 'It'. Who knows? :O I'm looking forward though. I really don't know what to do and expect.
She jabbed her finger toward the portrait. “It’s h-hard to believe a sweet child like that could grow up into such a d-depraved, egotistical, immature, w-womanizing, job-stealing rat!”
“Life’s funny that way.” He handed her another tissue. “Heroine, honey, do you think you could stop crying long enough for the two of us to talk?”
She shook her head in a wobbly arc. “I’m not ever going to st-stop. And do you know why? Because I’m going to sp-spend the rest of my life eating m-mashed potatoes and smelling like disen—disen—fectant.” Another wail. “Do you know what happens when you’re around d-death all the time? Your body dries up!” She startled him by clasping her hands over her breasts. “They’re drying up. I’m drying up! Now I’m going to die without ever having s-sex!”
His hand stilled on her shoulders. “Are you telling me you’re a virgin?”
“Of course I’m a virgin! Who would want to have sex with someone as h-homely as me?”
Hero was too much of a gentleman to let that one go by. “Why just about any healthy red-blooded male, honey.”
“Ha!” She withdrew her hands from her breasts and reached for another tissue.
“I’m serious.”
Even drunk, Heroine wasn’t taking any of his malarkey . . “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Have s-sex with me. Right now. Yes! R-right this very minute.” Her hands flew to the buttons on the front of her white blouse, and she began pulling them open.