THE Group for Authors! discussion

I'd love some feedback on the first section of my short story!

I've never written anything before, and would love to improve this section before I continue with the rest!

Please comment and let me know what you think / how I can improve!

Thank you

Here's the link!

Oh,yes Annie, please continue. (I think you will anyway despite any adverse criticism you may receive as a consequence of being so delightfully honest about a momentary self-doubt.) Annie, you already have what many wannabe writers never achieve: a distinct "voice" which made your short piece a joy to read.

This work is a good first attempt. I can see that your heart is in it. Task yourself to improve grammatically. For example, do not use so many run-on sentences. Pay attention to the possessive form and use that apostrophe when necessary. Try to review your work (twice) on a day different than the one on which you did the writing. I hope this helps. Good luck!